I'm lying. I'm not glad about anything. I was here a number of years ago when I was in my 40s and my daughter was young. Now I'm in my 50s and my daughter is in college. I was going to catch the bus while she was away at camp; I don't remember the year. I chickened out because I didn't want to do to her whatever having a mother who suicides does to people. She's the only reason I'm still breathing. And the cats. My ex is allergic so I don't know what would happen to them, which would also damage my daughter. I held on before and I suppose I should try to hold on until she finishes school. I owe her that much. I'm out of money. I have a big house and I'm supposed to move into one about a quarter of the size, but I don't have the means to get the new place ready. I'm a lawyer and I have had no work coming in for months and no responses to all the resumes I've sent out, which isn't a surprise, given my age. I'm living on COVID unemployment payments, which doesn't come close to covering my expenses. My favorite aunt died a couple of weeks ago. She was more of a mother to me than my own mother, who has never had a kind word for my entire life. She's annoyed that I was at my aunt's bedside when she passed away. She never had anything nice to say about her, either. That's her hobby. She and my sister spend their time speaking ill of other people. Then my mother gets on the phone and speaks ill of people to her friends. Her other sister died earlier this year, and she was just as nasty to her. So she's down two people she can publicly criticize. If I caught the bus, I might be able to preserve what little there is left of my good name. Besides, people tend to speak better of you once you're dead. My aunt was in the process of dying when I arrived. She was promptly put in hospice and pumped with the cocktail which sent her off quite peacefully.