• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

"Glad" to be back

Status
Not open for further replies.
#1
I'm lying. I'm not glad about anything. I was here a number of years ago when I was in my 40s and my daughter was young. Now I'm in my 50s and my daughter is in college. I was going to catch the bus while she was away at camp; I don't remember the year. I chickened out because I didn't want to do to her whatever having a mother who suicides does to people. She's the only reason I'm still breathing. And the cats. My ex is allergic so I don't know what would happen to them, which would also damage my daughter. I held on before and I suppose I should try to hold on until she finishes school. I owe her that much. I'm out of money. I have a big house and I'm supposed to move into one about a quarter of the size, but I don't have the means to get the new place ready. I'm a lawyer and I have had no work coming in for months and no responses to all the resumes I've sent out, which isn't a surprise, given my age. I'm living on COVID unemployment payments, which doesn't come close to covering my expenses. My favorite aunt died a couple of weeks ago. She was more of a mother to me than my own mother, who has never had a kind word for my entire life. She's annoyed that I was at my aunt's bedside when she passed away. She never had anything nice to say about her, either. That's her hobby. She and my sister spend their time speaking ill of other people. Then my mother gets on the phone and speaks ill of people to her friends. Her other sister died earlier this year, and she was just as nasty to her. So she's down two people she can publicly criticize. If I caught the bus, I might be able to preserve what little there is left of my good name. Besides, people tend to speak better of you once you're dead. My aunt was in the process of dying when I arrived. She was promptly put in hospice and pumped with the cocktail which sent her off quite peacefully.
 
#2
Sorry that you're going through this DearDaisy
I chickened out because I didn't want to do to her whatever having a mother who suicides does to people
You're right in thinking that your death would devastate her. Hopefully there's a way that thing can get better for you, which is really the only good solution.
I'm out of money. I have a big house and I'm supposed to move into one about a quarter of the size, but I don't have the means to get the new place ready. I'm a lawyer and I have had no work coming in for months and no responses to all the resumes I've sent out, which isn't a surprise, given my age
Work and financial issues can be tough. It's a practical issue though, and there may be a practical solution. It's the sort of thing that at least in principle could get better instantly if things just fell into place.
My favorite aunt died a couple of weeks ago
I'm sorry you lost her. I'm glad you had her in your life though, and that she had you in hers.
Besides, people tend to speak better of you once you're dead
I'm sorry that your mom is so awful. I'm not sure that your being dead would keep her from talking trash though. Do you think you might be happier if you just cut off contact with her?

I hope something can help

Sending hugs
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$255.00
Goal
$255.00
Top