"Glad you were here"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Skyfire, Jun 11, 2013.

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  1. Skyfire

    Skyfire Active Member

    Sometimes I sit on the street corner and imagine jumping into the oncoming traffic. I don't do it, mostly because I'd probably hurt someone that way, or at least cause property damage. And its something I might survive.

    The other day, a woman was walking her dog nearby and the dog got away from her. It ran my way, so I got its attention and caught it for her.

    She said, "Thanks so much, I'm glad you were here," and then went on her way.

    After a while I broke down in tears. I don't think anyone has ever been glad I was here, for any reason, and it felt so good to hear it. I have been so low and wanted to die so often, but I don't think I ever realized how lonely I really am until that stranger said that she was glad I was here.

    I don't want to be here anymore. I know it sounds really stupid, but now and then I can't help but feel maybe the only reason I was ever born was to be there on that street corner to catch that damned dog. Its the only time I've ever been useful or done something no one else could do. And now its over and I'm back to being worthless to everyone around me, and I can't stand it.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Skyfire you are not worthless no way hun and yes thank god you were there to save her dog hun Loneliness is a bugger it is i know hun i wish you could reach out more go to some meetings for depression meet other people there make new connections Good you are writing here hun Keep posting ok so you can make connections here as well
    You are just as important as anyone ok you are special don't let anyone make you feel different hugs
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you want to read something into that you might choose the viewpoint that on your lowest and worse you still had value to others and made a difference.... If i were you I would consider that a reminder of just how important you are to people you do not even realize.
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're here on SF. I'm not glad you feel as worthless and unwanted as I feel but it helps me.
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. Thats a great story about catching the dog. I think that as humans it is important to do things for others. when someone thanks me I tell them that it helps me to give. And thats really true.

    The thing that struck me about what you said is this: last year I do not think you could have imagined that someday you would have done something so meaningful for a woman and her dog. So perhaps there is someting as important or more important in the future. something that will make youre being here important, once again. And perhaps again.......... and again?

    I am not just saying this for you. It is how I think for my life as well. I hope this makes sense.
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