Glimmer of Hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadgirl2, Jan 11, 2007.

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  1. sadgirl2

    sadgirl2 Active Member

    I have been at this same place so many times before. I feel like there is no reason to live. I try to write of list of what I want to accomplish before I die and I can't even come up with #1. Life feels too hard. I can't meet expectations. I just want to die.

    Then some small thing happens, some glimmer of hope comes along and I dig myself out of the darkness. Yesterday it was my son (who lives with his dad). He needed me. He was sad. Somehow it just tugged on my heart. If he only knew how much he helped me while I was helping him...he saved me for another day.
     
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well that is good, I know that way back when I would get hope too that would keep me from killing myself.

    As for goals in your life. They do not have to be something that you need to do. The goals can be completely reliant on another in your life. Like your son, for instance. Maybe you can make a goal to see him graduate college.

    Also with goals they do not have to be big goals. Small ones are the best way to start. Anything qualifies as a goal. My goal is to lose weight and feel better about myself. Superficial I know, but since I feel it is the only way then I am going to accomplish it. A friend of mine has advised me to start small on relationships as well. I want to jump in and get a girlfriend. She said that i should just try and make regular friends first then get a significant other. So set a small goal for yourself. And then just keep on setting small goals. Really it is the little things that are the start.

    And I am rambling, I have another story, or two. If you would like to hear them. Just PM me, I hope I was of some help.
     
  3. bombeni

    bombeni Guest

    One day at a time is all anyone can do.
     
  4. sadgirl2

    sadgirl2 Active Member

    Sometimes it seems to be hours, but I hear you.
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Just remember every journey starts with one step.
     
  6. sadgirl2

    sadgirl2 Active Member

    Thanks. I will try and remember that.
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am glad, also you cannot complete a journey if you are standing still. ^_^
     
  8. bombeni

    bombeni Guest

    I keep reminding myself that every problem has a solution and if it doesn't, then it is of no use worrying about it anyway. I may have read that here somewhere. As far as the solutions, they may came only once a week, or once a month, but when we get the strength to start facing our problems again, those solutions will be found, eventually. Just one day at a time...
     
  9. sadgirl2

    sadgirl2 Active Member

    One of my biggest problems is my job. I read here about so many people who don't have a job and I have one but it is very stressful and I am always worried I am going to miss something and the project will fail. I hate it. I am not sure what I am going to do. I am having problems financially since my divorce so taking a lower level job may not work. And my boss thinks I can do the job so I feel like I have to keep trying while it eats away at me..
     
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    It is ok, just because you have a job it does not mean you will be stress free. But there are times when you just need to not care. I do that in school from time to time. Sometimes I will have a project due the next day and I will have barely started it and I will just say "FUCK IT" and sit down and play video games. It is best to get your mind off of what is causing you stress.
     
  11. bombeni

    bombeni Guest


    If you are sure the job is a big part of your stresses, but you don't think you can take lower pay, then you just have to work on a solution. Perhaps you could get a roommate for awhile to help share the monthly bills? (That's what I have done). Or could you move in with family members for perhaps a year, and move into the less stressful position that way? I had a mountain of worries. But my nephew said some things to me the other day that helped. Now this is a guy who has been thru more crap than all of us combined at SF! Lost both parents before age of 18, in prison twice, was molested as a child, has no job, no car, etc. etc etc. He said to me the other day "Line 'em up, and just start picking them off one at a time. That's all you can do". I wanted all my problems to either go away or be fixed right now. But that is not reality. I had been living out of reality a long time because I didn't want to think about all the problems, so in the meantime they accumulated and got bigger. But now I am starting to work on them, just ONE at a time. I can only do what I can do, I can't change yesterday. I can't even really manage what is going to happen tomorrow. But I can deal with it JUST FOR TODAY. Hang in there. :wink:
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2007
  12. sadgirl2

    sadgirl2 Active Member

    Thank you. I have lined up a number one and number two problem to work on:

    1) Finances
    2) Work
     
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