I have been at this same place so many times before. I feel like there is no reason to live. I try to write of list of what I want to accomplish before I die and I can't even come up with #1. Life feels too hard. I can't meet expectations. I just want to die. Then some small thing happens, some glimmer of hope comes along and I dig myself out of the darkness. Yesterday it was my son (who lives with his dad). He needed me. He was sad. Somehow it just tugged on my heart. If he only knew how much he helped me while I was helping him...he saved me for another day.