"You should be thankful, some people didn't even wake up this morning." I HATE when people say bullshit like that! Of course I feel bad when someone who actually enjoyed life had it cut short. But not everyone is having a great time here. Here it is, another Monday, and I get to go and sit in a cube and stare at a computer screen all day. It's mid-July 2007, I've been doing the same thing everyday for well over seven years. I'm tired. My life is going by in a fog. Everyday is just like the one before it. I don't know what to do to change. I know it may seem simple to people who aren't in my situation, people who don't think my thoughts, and haven't lived my life. But it's not simple to me. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being alone. I know it's my fault because I don't make any effort to meet new people, and I close myself off from the few people I do know. There is something fundamentally wrong with me...I don't know how to love. I can't give it and I can't accept it. My family fucked me, and admittedly I'm continuing the process because I don't know how not to. I don't know anything else.