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  1. planetzulstfury

    planetzulstfury Public Access

    My goals are trying to bring my self confidence up.

    I've already started to walk with my head up and trying to talk to a few people, which is working. Next I'm trying to go out of my way and not being shy once I feel more comfortable with being around people and making more friends. I need to learn how to talk louder and raise my voice, not only so I can attack people back who attack me first with words, but also so I can show to people how I really am I and/or how I can be. I'm making progress, but I need to record it (by writing a journal or something) so people who I tell these things to, as well as myself, will see how much I'm doing and how well I'm doing it.

    My parents have been trying to work with me and trying to make me better. I didn't believe what they said before, so I never really tried it that much and since I did it wrong then I feel depressed all over again. Now that people have taught me and understand/listen to me (articles online too), then now I know how to do it better than what I used to.

    People still bother me, but since I still hold my head up, then I've been able to let things go in one ear and other the other most of the time, and focus on the positive things. I can't let myself get too ahead of myself by thinking I'm higher than everyone because then, all of the progress I've worked on will disappear and I'll think the total opposite.

    I still feel down and unloved sometimes, but otherwise, they can be controlled by making myself think of all the good things that I've taught myself and how many people actually like (and Love) me.

    I have been doing things to make myself forget about all the bad things. Now I'm into doing Sudoku, last month I've started to collect rocks and study geology, then I started to learn German yesterday. That might seem like a lot to do, but it's fun. I think this will help improve my brain and how it works too. My brain (in my opinion) is kind of slow with somethings. This will help me improve my mental health. I do one or more activity everyday, especially if I'm having a bad day.

    I may not be able to like myself completely (especially love myself) because I still never to learn how to accept how I look or prove to myself that I'm not really the things I say I am (people call me retarded and ugly mostly and say that I look like a girl and a boy (which is called being androgynous), but with time, I may be able to love myself.
     
  2. JulieDegraw

    JulieDegraw Well-Known Member

    What an awesome and uplifting post to read. Inspirational even.

    Keep on keeping on. You're doing all the right things. You're gonna get there for sure, and once you do, you'll love the view from up there :)
     
  3. BarryW

    BarryW Well-Known Member

    As you focus on your interests you will have less time to think about the bad things.
    I remember being asked in all seriousness if I was a boy or a girl in middle school so I understand some of what you are dealing with there. As you age and your peers mature mentally they will care less about this kind of thing and not be as rude (calling you ugly etc). Some people don't mature but a lot do. Until then I think you have the right idea to try to let some things go in one ear and out the other.
     
  4. Ally S

    Ally S Active Member

    It sounds like you are going about things in the right way... learning how to control your thoughts to keep positive and find things that are mentally stimulating and helpful in moving forward (learning to things, etc.). Real change always starts on the inside, understanding who you are.
    You have a lot to offer the world. so many people need to hear your story, how you are working to change your mindset and change your depression. Keep journaling in order to one day share and encourage others around you.

     
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

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