God Dang it! I am about ready tooo....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Feb 22, 2008.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    to just go offf on everyone and everything..

    Where is the justic in this world?????

    Where is the God Dang law when you need them????

    I tell you i am at the edge of my rope and God forgive me for what may happen next.. yes i said may happen cause i am trying with all my might not to do something but then something is forcing me to DO SOMETHING ...

    Just put your shoes in mine for a moment...

    You spend months fixing up a 1967 mobile home.. you spend months paying on it to your nephew for this home. you get it ready and able to pull, then some son of a B. next door goes and burns it down because he is thinking you also own the dang land this thing sits on and has wanted to buy it off you many times.. you keep telling him you do not own it and that the owner does not want to sale it, so he thinks well i will burn the mobile down and they will sale it to me then so he goes and burns it down... Now you get ticked off because it hurts.. it really hurts you badly cause you have moved all your things from a storage place to this mobile in order to save the monthy storage bill so you can save it up to have the money to have this mobile pulled , now you have lost everything you had in it..

    So you go and tell the police, they do basically nothing except write down a small report, which by the way the dang cop cant even freeking spell on the report, well you tell them that and they do nothing.. consider it that it is your word against theres. you tell them about him telling you 2 weeks before it burnt that he would burn it, the dang police overlook that..

    well now, my niecve was at school the other day and this kid who goes to her school is kin to this neighbor, well he walks up to my niece and said out straight, " do you know of a home that burnt lately? " so my niece says yea, my aunts did.. then this kid says well i was at the neighbors and he was bragging about burning it down and getting away with it and i thought it was cool" this kid thinks its cool that he burnt my home down... well let me tell you , she taped him saying this on her cell phone, so i called the police and left a message for the sheriff and gave him this info, etc..

    nothing happened.. not a god damn thing.. they just let it go.. well by God they have had their chance and i am at my ropes end here. i am about to lose it and i mean lose it bad.. and if i go after this dude, this neighbor it is going to be bad.. it is taking every bit of strength i have got not to do something... i really mean it.. i dont know how much longer i can hold off.. i mean every time i think about this i get mader and mader..

    the police are doing nothing.. i mean nothing about this.. and i wanna know why..? why dame it?? why wont you put him through a lie detecter test?? it has been done before.. you know hes lying when he said he was just out putting in antifreeze in his car, what a bunmch of bull, then now after 3 months he is going around bragging about doing it and getting away with it..

    if i was not so dang weak right now i would have already done something. i spent the last few days at the hospital and finally was able to come home.. had a bad infection with this cancer, had to have a bunch of fluids and iv in my arm.. i am just so ticked off right now when i should just remain calm.

    i am at my wits end.. i want get this guy, i am given the police plenty of time.. they better do something quick or i will handle it my way...
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    Dovie, I know it's tough but hang in there! :hug:
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i know but its so dang hard..

    every night i pray to God to give me the strength to forgive this guy, every dang night i ask it.

    every night i ask God for justic on this... i know i need to forgive him but i want justic, dang it.. its not fair. i always end up done wrong and everything and i am tired of it. people like him can do things like that and get away with it.. if i was to try it i would be in jail 5 minutes after it happened. its just not fair.. there is no justic in this world.

    the only justic i can see is one that i make myself.. then of course the danmg police will end up arresting me and saying that i need to be in jail for doing something about it when they wouldnt..

    i mean how freeking hard is it for them to figure out what he did?? i mean how freeking hard is it for them to put him on a lie detecter test. hell i will take one if they want to give me one.. then go give this neighbor one..

    i mean he is not only bragging to just this kid who knows my neice at school, hes bragging to everybody he knows about.. he thinks its funny that he burnt it and got away with it.. i have had people come up to me on the street that i dont even know and say hey i heard the neighbor tell me he burnt your trailor and i wanted you to know who done it, etc... why are the police not doing anything???

    i mean i am really thinking of ..... it justs makes me so darn mad.. and i dont need to be mad right now.. heck i had high fever the last few days, bad infection and doc wants me to stay inside so i dont get any more sicker.. did have a lady from church call me every day at the hospital, two or three times a day just to check up on me.. but still this makes me mad... Doc says stay calm, dont get mad, dont get your tempor up, dont go out in the cold, etc or we will have to put in more fluids and antibodiots, etc... my dang cancer is not doing my body well at all... days i get really sick some days i feel okay, etc.. i am just so sick of it all. so sick of this freeking life.

    it is not right... my life has never been right not one dang bit... people do things to me and get away with it and i am tired of it... its time for me to take back my life , its time for me to get justic that i deserve, and if that means getting even then i will do it no matter what the cost.. you got to stick up for what is right and it is not right for him to sit in his home bragging about burning my home down and getting away with it...
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sorry hun. I hope things turn around for you soon. :hug:
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    hey, the following may sound harsh but its not directed directly to you gental lady so please do not think i am saying this to you okay?? :hug; well at least the ill words below , they are directed to those in the know.. okay..?

    Physically i am in treatments , 2 weeks at home one week at treatments 2 weeks home again.. it is a clinical reasearch for cancer and i get chemo and radiation and others means. they use me like a lab rat while testing and if it works i get healed or survive if not i die. it is free cause it is through a clinical trial.

    things have not turned around for me at all... emotional wise that is. i need answers and remember when you told me i need to heal and move on, well i cant.. not until i know the truth of what happened.

    Bible says the truth shall set you free - well i need the truth of what happened.. i cant rest , i cant heal, and i cant have peace until that happens. i need answers.

    i wanna know what happened. i want to know what my niece did that hurt the minister and i know that there are people that come here that know. i need to know in order for me to heal and move on.. so long as they keep it a secret from me it keeps me in pain. it keeps me in hurt. i cant eat. i cant sleep, ( which i dont do anyway because of this cancer ) but i need answers .

    no BS i will do it. and i have an effective and fast way of doing it. This Easter i die. I cant take it anymore. if those in the know are sitting back thinking that to keep it a secret from me is protecting me they are so wrong cause all its doing is putting me through nothing but pure hell! If they love me then they need to tell me. i am not a mind reader. bible says truth will set you free well that is what i seek...

    enough with the games.. enough with the lies - yes lies because when you keep the truth from me you are lying to me. enough of trying to hide it from me cause your not helping but hurting me...

    I need to know what happened with the Daltons. i need to know what my niece did and said online when she used my computer. i need to know the hurt it put upon them. i need to know why the FBI was involved. i need to know what all happened and why they hate me so much..

    i need answers. i demand answers.. i cant take this pain , the emotional pain is too much. to keep it from me is keeping me in more pain and its gotta stop. either tell me what happened or i am outta here Easter. NO BS ABOUT IT..

    I have talked with God every night , wanting to know the truth. i am not a mind reader.. and i cant just let it go when i know not what went wrong. i thought the daltons had tried to call me but i have found out they never did try to contact me. i need answers..

    Enough with the secrets and with hiding it from me. Enough is enough.. you hurt me the longer you keep hiding it from you and enough hurt has been done. if those in the know think that to keep this from me will keep me from getting hurt welll you got it so wrong.. its hurting me, not helping me. i am in HELL and i need the answers. i need to know what happened and what if anything i can do to correct it or not. i need to know what my niece did so i can get her to correct it if possiable..

    i am getting weaker every day but i cant live until the truth is known.

    if you love me enough you will tell me the truth like God demands , if not then i am out of here.. cause i cant heal without knowing what happened and why the Daltons hate me so much..

    i dont want to be in their life if that dont want me to be i just want the freeking truth.. so i can heal my heart, so they can get on with whatever they want to do and so i can die in peace..

    is that too much to ask for??
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