god fucking damnit

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by swimmergirl, Feb 18, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I thought I was feeling better, but I am not. I just want to die again, like right now. Fuck it. I am doing this and nothing is going to stop me now. Bye.
     
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i know the feeling

    i know that you've somehow helped me - please give me the chance to return the favor

    talk to me
     
  3. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    thanks for responding, i am just overwhelmed at the moment and pissed off at myself for still being alive, because, like you know, the pain is intolerable sometimes, and it would be so much easier just to be dead. Maybe I should go take a walk and get some air, right now I feel like I am suffocating. I am also scared to call the one person I know could support me through this because I feel like such an ass for feeling this way, i can't win.
     
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    swimmergirl are you getting any outside support? You may have said this before and if so I am sorry ( not doing so great myself right now) but SF is great but it can not take the place of trained professionals and maybe depending upon the situation a short course of meds. I would be dead without my meds for sure, that and thanks to the support I've gained at SF.

    You are clearly in great pain and are so deserving of the happiness you seek but sometimes we all need professional help to get us to a better mindset and then we can carry on on our own.

    I am here to talk to if you would like and keep posting to get that crap out of your head and allow us to share with you our personal experiences and our caring.

    BTW how is the play going? Was not the final performance just recently? Do you have another part coming up?

    Hugs Bambi
     
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :console: I know the feeling too. There are times I wish I could contact a friend of mine for support. But I can't contact him because he is in really far south, and I can only call locally.

    Go ahead and take your walk, because it will do some good.
     
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    did you know that "whelm" is actually a word?

    i looked it up

    –verb (used with object) 1. to submerge; engulf.
    2. to overcome utterly; overwhelm: whelmed by misfortune.

    –verb (used without object) 3. to roll or surge over something, as in becoming submerged.

    huh - explains why you're feeling suffocated

    you are drowning in your own feelings - i understand exactly how that feels

    you say you feel like ass for feeling this way - i understand that too

    but you have something that i don't - someone you can call who you know could support you

    if you know the support is there, please reach out to it

    if you still don't want to do that, vent here

    i may not be much good for anything else but i can listen
     
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Don't be pissed off at yourself for still being alive...it shows you have an inner strength..
    good idea going for a walk......
    please stay safe..
     
  8. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    should i live, should i die, i am sick of the endless battle going on in my head, tired of it, just fucking die already, it would be so much easier.

    I need to call dr. alt, but what is he going to do to help, nothing, absolutely nothing.

    and so what if he is angry that i killed myself without calling him first, tough shit.
     
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    get the feeling dr. alt is not the "support" person you were referring to before?
     
  10. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    don't know if you're going to check here or on your thread so I'm posting this on both

    music is both my savior and my downfall, but better people than i are able to say things that i feel

    i've tweaked these lyrics to reflect what i think is the summary of the family that this forum represents

    i hope that we can both take it to heart

    Lost in the darkness,
    Silence surrounds you.
    Once there was morning,
    Now endless night.

    If we could reach you,
    We'd guide you and teach you
    To walk from the darkness
    Back into the light.

    Deep in your silence,
    Please try to hear us;
    We'll keep you near us
    Till night passes by.

    We will find the answer.
    We'll never desert you -
    We promise you this -
    Till the day that we die...


    please hang on
     
  11. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    thanks, it helps

    and yes, dr.alt is the one person i have for support, i just cant get myself to dial the numbers and tell him i need help, like now.
     
  12. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    please call him

    don't make me beg - my knee pads are all covered in gum - it's not pretty
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Please keep posting, and try to find the strength to dial that number!!
     
  14. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I need help. why is it so hard to ask someone? Maybe because there is nothing that can be done. I am losing my mind, i can't take any more hurt. I want to be dead.
     
  15. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

  16. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I love Glee! Great choice. Thanks, that made me smile, for the first time today.

    Hanging in there, despite my better senses.

    Hope you are doing the same.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.