god I miss her so much

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Raphael1, Dec 9, 2010.

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  1. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    This hurts so bad! I cannot take this. I feel crushed that she is in belarus and I'm in australia. I just want to be with her. She's like my other half. I've never been so depressed because of this separation. She's just out of my reach and it's torture. I cannot stop thinking about her. I want to hold her but I can't. I swear I will never like anyone else but her. If I can't be with her it seems so tragic. I am meant to be with her. If I can't it will seem so unnatural and wrong. It seems so unlikely that I lose hope. But I cannot give up because of her.

    My family and the people around me. They are so wrong for me I don't like them at all. I want to get away to belarus and stay with hey. I cannot afford it. I will have no work there. I need a happy ending badly. I will never be the same otherwise. The pain is so surreal that I think why is this happening to me?! I am so glad I know of her, but now I must be with her.
  2. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I thought she is in Russia. But then my memory is not very good.

    Steven Siew
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Keep in contact with her thru internet text msg Go down for a visit work hard save money go for atrip who knows what will happen If you can love her you can love others as well take care
  4. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Belarus used to be part of the Soviet Union.
    Raphael. I know how hard it is to be seperated from the person we love. My husband used to work abroad a lot and it was very difficult to be apart from him.
    My brother sent me a poem to help me get through that. Its by John Donne and is called A Valecdition Forbidding Mourning. You can read it here. http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/donne/mourning.php

    It's all about how two people can be compared to a compass. The old fashioned sort where the instrument is joined at the top and has two 'legs'. No matter how far apart the two 'feet' of the compass are, they are always together at the top and that's what two people in love are like. They always have that connection no matter what distance is between them. They are always joined.
    I don't think you'd like living in Belarus btw, you may want to rethink that plan.
    Also think about learning some coping strategies.
    Sending hugs
  5. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member


    What exactly did this woman say to you? Did she say she wants to develop the relationship further? Have you two ever met in real life? How long have you known her?

    Steven Siew
  6. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    Nice poem Catherine. By responding this helps. Belarus is probably not the best place to go. But she will be there for a few years while she finishes her study to be a lawyer.

    StevenSiew she said she likes me. That she thinks we could be together. We have this song called no ordinary love by sade. It's really sweet. I've only known her for over a month. Never met her before. But I knew straight away from the beginning I loved her. It's just one of those things. The hurt is overwhelming and hard to describe. I never felt anything like it.

    Somehow I got to work, save up money. Go over there. And then I don't know.
    Meanwhile it's so difficult. She is pretty busy so she is not online all the time.
  7. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member


    I suggest you concentrate on making money. Without money, you will always be stuck in Australia. Unless of course, she makes enough money for you to fly over to Belarus on her account.

    I would also suggest that you communicate your plans to her. If she is prepared to support you on your plan then you should use the plan as the stepping stone to further build up your physical relationship.

    Steven Siew
  8. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    Hey dude i know its hard, but shes alive... just keep your cool

    Do you speak over the internet/phone? i mean i could be worse, much worse..

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