God is calling me to the other side

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by afraidoflife, Sep 11, 2010.

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  1. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Hello everyone. I am 23 years old male and have paranoid schizophrenia. This thing is a living hell and I've had it since I was 18 years old. Now this thing is making me soon commit suicide and I hope this thread as a last hope. I belive my life is getting worse and worse and the devil is playing with me. In God I trust I can meet him some day and explain what I did, why and because. My only wish is that my family will not miss me as much in this life after I lost it.
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    My cousin had paranoid schizophrenia, and it is a frightening thing to go through. I hope you have a lot of support and medications to keep you stable.
  3. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    The medications dont work mate. Walking around in the house restlessly with a rope, plank and nails in my hands.
  4. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    It will hurt your family very much if you hurt yourself. Please call 911 if it gets too much. I am sorry that you are going through so much. You have been strong for the past few years, you can go on further, and we will all support you here.:hugtackles:
  5. BenVenit

    BenVenit Member

    Please do not do this. My best friend had PS and did it. There are people who love you!

    Yes, it is an awful disorder. But you also know it is very interesting. My friend was the most intelligent, interesting, creative person I knew. I bet you are, too. Don't cut that off.

    I know that your pain is difficult and will be. I have problems that will never go away, too. When they get bad, I try to do something I am afraid of. That way, I link something really good with the bad.

    Stay alive and let your creative nature be nurtured!!!
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I know that it must be scary living with paranoid schizophrenia, but it isn't a death sentence. It just makes things more complicated. Are you hearing voices that are telling you to hang yourself? Don't listen to those awful voices. Don't give up. Your family will be devastated if they find your body. :hug:
  7. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    I dont know why and how I am living or going through this hell. I tried earlier, months ago, to kill myself by drinking lots and lots of water and then let it fill up my bladder and then the urin would go back to the kidneys and I would get kidney failure and die. I tried this and it didnt work. It is very strange. I think now the only posibility is the damn rope/belt. Dam u life.
  8. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Hey you,
    I was hopsitalized with a guy who had the same issues just as you described and it took a few other tries to get him on the right meds. He is now going to school to be a med tech.

    Did you let your doctor know that the meds are not working? They can't fix it if they don't know......
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey you is right it takes a while to get the right combination of meds to work for you Have you tried newer meds out there Saphris is a new one that works i here You family will never be the same if you committ suicide i know my brother did and it only causes the people behind severe anquish and pain

    there is help for you ask pdoc to change meds to new ones change things up again until the voices go away

    You family will never get over losing you the love you too much
  10. Lex331

    Lex331 Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 19, 2011
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