god is telling me to do it

[ACRon]

god is telling me to commit suicide. ok, maybe thats a little far fetched. the voices are telling me to give up. my thoughts transcend to my stomach and the slow sensitive vibrations of me in my surrounding lead me away from humanity. everthing I feel naturally forces other people away from myself. my heart is telling me to run and seek solace. I envisage my death as a slow and lonely one in a place I am not familiar with. I think drowning would be the least painfull way to go for me. supposedly its quite peacefull. everything inside me is pulling away, detaching slowly. If this is not proof of god I dont know what is. this is so natural it hurts. the part of me that always is ignored, its inexplainable to people who haven't felt it. complete submission to the natural leanings brought on by spirituality. the more I pull toward controlling it the more it mocks my efforts. it wants me to die, and leave this situation. it is currently pulling my fingers away from the keyboard and sending me images of my own cold death.

 

[Forgotten_Man]

Hmmm well ummmm.... I am an atheist. But the way I understand christianity is that go would never wish death on one of his children, IE you. Sometimes we want so badly to believe that we are being told to do these things that we just see them... but what do I know right? I am an atheist after all.

 

[Syd]

It's your subconscious, that's what I believe. Your mind has trained itself to think negatively, and it's not unusual to experience these feelings when you're depressed. I tend to think of "god" as the human mind within each of us, so you can say we're each our own "gods" in that sense. When you pray, you're communicating with yourself, for example. Thinking in this context, you do have the power to help yourself then, because all the god you'll need is within you already - it's just a matter of getting support from friends, filling your mind with good experiences once again, and your mind will begin thinking positively when you can trust and love life once again. This is something I also need to work on, I need to seek out good friends and positive relationships. We must receive love before we can learn to love ourselves again.

 

[Ziggy]

You can't really mean "I think drowning would be the least painfull way to go for me. supposedly its quite peacefull.". As a senior member here how many people have you spoken to who've attempted suicide and described it as being "quite peacefull"? Please don't try and make suicide sound romantic cos it ain't.

 

[live]

I get the feeling myself that the suicidal thoughts have taken on a life of their own, like someone's inside me telling me to do it. But they are still just thoughts; it's just hard to see that most of the time. When I do, there's no need to kill myself because I'm already just part of reality, and the suicidal thoughts look superfluous and not worth considering.
Anyway, I don't know what will help you, but I saw the Flaming Lips quote tagline, and I remembered times when the lyrics from The Soft Bulletin made a difference for me, just in terms of the triumph of the human spirit.

 

[non_existence]

god is telling me to commit suicide. ok, maybe thats a little far fetched. the voices are telling me to give up. my thoughts transcend to my stomach and the slow sensitive vibrations of me in my surrounding lead me away from humanity

Hmm. I wonder if this is how God-based religions begin. Someone hears voices in their heads, makes the instant assumption that it must be God, starts preaching, etc...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Origin_of_Consciousness_in_the_Breakdown_of_the_Bicameral_Mind

 

[ACRon]

apologies for romanticising suicide. Ziggy. I think you have to entertain the idea as romantic yourself if you were to see it that way, nevertheless Im sorry to trigger anyone.

Ok, if we take away the element of god we're left with a passionate desire that we don't control telling us to do things. like an obsession. its a dream world that sucks me in. Not really voices as such more just something that I don't control. this spiritual side whatever the cause pushes and pulls me toward things I can't explain. some good some bad. The suicide tendency currently is absent. thanks for your replies.

As I plod through life and consider religions the only one that matters is the one that bonds me to the people I love. For personal endeavour and finding myself I have the template with those people who made me who I am. If those people are unhappy with me, I can either mend that relationship or seek something else.

"the stalker never stalks the object of their desire, they covet what their object seeks" - random thought