God , why??

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by White Dove, Jun 24, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Why does my family treat me like crap?

    Why do they not care at all about me?

    I am so hurting so much. I was always good to my family. always and when my brother was homeless i let him and his wife and kids stay with me last few months until they found a home. when his wife washed clothes every day and run my water bill up because she used over 17000 gallons . i paid it and did without food and said nothing. my brother has a great job. been there for a long time and he did not help me with buying food or paying the bills. i said nothing. but now when i need him he is not there for me. i asked him if he could fix my car this weekend but he said no because i would not watch his kids for free this past friday so he gets mad and can not help me fix my car. he wanted to go get drunk and i did not have the dang gas money to even come down to where he is living at to watch his kids, now hes mad at me.

    i try. God knows how much i try to do whats right. but i will not be here for much more longer and my brother is going to wish he had helped me. wish he had been there and wish he had loved me just a little. i do not think i can take much more of this. this pain is controlling me so much. if it is not the pain in my admon from the cancer then it is this emotional pain. it has got to stop. i have to make it stop. God if i had things already tooken care of i would have done been gone. no one gives a sh.... so why do i???

    God i have just had it with everything. i did not even go to church today. just what point would it have done anyway??? and did they miss me??? why heck no if they did they would have called or come by. i am just so alone. i hate it. i hate my life.
  2. winston

    winston Well-Known Member

    You are not alone.

    There's more people out there like you than you can every imagine.

    Don't be so silly, and know that you're united with those who you don't even know.

    Trust me, you'll be alright
  3. themuffinman

    themuffinman Member

    Two weeks after I graduated highschool my parents LITERALLY kicked me out with nothing but the clothes on my back and $53 dollars to my name. I lived in 9 different towns for 16 days. Until my mother came and picked me up and brought me to my current town. After a while my step father got tired of me and kicked me out while my mother set and watched.

    I was deserted by both sets of parents for no reason. I still to this day dont know the reason why either of them kicked me out. But I have no family now. I havent talked to either side of my family in months. Dont care to either.

    Just remember this: When life gets you down, you only build up more momentum to shoot to the top.
  4. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    You have to learn, not being so kind to people. You cannot always just assist them with everything, since the majority will not understand they should appreciate it. Either that or they'll use you. Everyone's not this way, but most are... unfortunately, this is the way people work; taking advantage of any given situation.
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i know that but to me that was the only way i could get any love back from them.

    i needed them and they were never there for me.

    God no one is ever there for me. no one.

    i have a stupid life

    i am a stupid loser.

    I feel so alone tonight. i just want to lay down go to sleep and never wake up. i am suffering so bad tonight. if it is not the emotional pain of me hating myself or of what others see me as or think of me then it is the physical pain i feel in the lower parts of my body from a cancer i can not stop.

    No one is here to share that pain with me and i am crying so much on the inside. my heart is bleeding so much and no one cares.

    what are they going to do if i stay alive and fight this? Come to my hospital bed and stare at me?

    God where were you when i needed you???

    Where are you now?? in your own homes not even thinking about me not even praying for me!!!

    God i want to end it. i just want it over with........
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