Why does my family treat me like crap? Why do they not care at all about me? I am so hurting so much. I was always good to my family. always and when my brother was homeless i let him and his wife and kids stay with me last few months until they found a home. when his wife washed clothes every day and run my water bill up because she used over 17000 gallons . i paid it and did without food and said nothing. my brother has a great job. been there for a long time and he did not help me with buying food or paying the bills. i said nothing. but now when i need him he is not there for me. i asked him if he could fix my car this weekend but he said no because i would not watch his kids for free this past friday so he gets mad and can not help me fix my car. he wanted to go get drunk and i did not have the dang gas money to even come down to where he is living at to watch his kids, now hes mad at me. i try. God knows how much i try to do whats right. but i will not be here for much more longer and my brother is going to wish he had helped me. wish he had been there and wish he had loved me just a little. i do not think i can take much more of this. this pain is controlling me so much. if it is not the pain in my admon from the cancer then it is this emotional pain. it has got to stop. i have to make it stop. God if i had things already tooken care of i would have done been gone. no one gives a sh.... so why do i??? God i have just had it with everything. i did not even go to church today. just what point would it have done anyway??? and did they miss me??? why heck no if they did they would have called or come by. i am just so alone. i hate it. i hate my life.