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goddamn mondays...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ExtraSoap, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    well, i guess the day technically started with an absolute breakdown at 12:30 AM, I just couldnt stop crying for an hour. Everything that I bottle up just kind of get released every once in a while, and the shit really just hits the fan when that happens. I guess you could compare it to a house of cards, one piece missing and the rest pile on top of each other, a chain reaction. So I finally got to sleep and woke up 5 hours later, showered, and went to school. I just went through the motions, I was on autopilot. I hadnt felt that shitty in a long, long time. I didnt enjoy it. Now i just feel empty, like i'm dead, but still alive. I realized that I only have one friend in this world, and all my old friends have abandoned me. figures, I open up to some of them and they go off and find some new friends. then after that I nearly broke down again after school, when the same thoughts as the first one came back: lack of a girlfriend, affection, friends, everyone around me being so fake. I'd never felt so alone in my life. I guess this is life, and I'll just have to learn how to deal with it :/
  2. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    Yeah dude as i said yesterday, Im sorry to hear that, we all have our off days, and there is no shame in crying, we are all human and we have emotions, it helps to get it out once in a while. Hope you are doing Ok today :)
  3. Mirikun

    Mirikun Well-Known Member

    As was said, crying once in a while is great! I really hope you're feeling a bit better today.

    I assure you that things will get better when you're finished with school. Man, I absolutely despised school, hahaha... I just finished in June and it was a hell of a relief. There are definitely places with people who are a lot better than the people who make school crap. :) I honestly don't think that I'm going to keep any friends I made at school. Just hang in there! It's a very difficult time. I:
  4. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Yeah, i know things do get better, it's just lasting long enough for that to happen. I'm so tired of this, but i dont think im ready to give up now. I at least want to give myself a chance to find a meaning in life, something or someone that I love doing or being with. I can only hope at this point though. hopefully itll happen soon.
  5. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    i feel like that every day. i hope you feel better tomorrow.