I really hope this question doesn't violate any forum rules, I do not think it would based on my understanding of them, but if the mods feel that it does, then I do sincerely apologise. It is not my intention to start a religious debate or to criticise any religion. I suppose I should start by saying I am an atheist. I was raised religious, but I left religion at around seventeen. That said, I've always been the type of atheist who wanted to believe in something. I do believe that the universe (and beyond) are so beyond our comprehension, even scientifically, that whose to say there isn't more out there. Maybe some would go so far as to call me a deist. I don't really care about labels personally, to be honest. So lately, I've been thinking of God a lot. My mom, who is religious and doesn't know of my disbelief, has always told me that God has a plan for me. Many religious people would claim God has a plan for everyone. I'd like to believe that. I'd like to believe the things I've gone through have meant something. Indeed, some of the difficulties I've suffered have led to greater good in my life, people I wouldn't have otherwise met, experiences I might have missed out on, and, they have made me wiser about many things. Yet, at the same time, I see people suffering who never get a chance. I see people go through more pain than they can handle. I feel as if God, if he existed, either abandoned them, or saw fit to let them go through pain for some greater plan or greater good. Or perhaps he simply doesn't care much for us, small lifeforms on an average planet, in one universe out of possibly many... I'm sorry if that notion offends anyone, I genuinely do not wish that, but, I just fear what if I'm just one of those people, you know? What if none of what I've gone through will mean much, not even on a personal level? For all I've learned, my life doesn't seem to be getting any better for it in the end, in fact, I see everything I cared about collapsing around me right now. I guess, what I'm trying to ask is, is there a way to cope with these feelings? Does anyone have any answers, or any understanding of these questions? Again, I'm not asking this for debate purposes, I just genuinely wish to know if there's a way to fight this feeling.