going crazy

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by starryeyed, Jun 18, 2012.

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  1. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    When I lived with my family they abused me very badly. Today they are saying that none of it ever happened. i can't seem to get people to believe what i tell them.
    When I see people I recognise they run from me. Today my mother said what did I expect, that they would talk to me? How badly I have been treated is unreal. I have been beaten, demoralised and even the guards have lost the statement I made about the abuse I suffered.
    I don't know where to turn, I have treid talking to people when i go out but they usually turn their backs on me. I'm not unattractive yet I am not even chatted up. there are severe rumours about me to the point where I can't even get my hair done and everyone is talking about me inside there. I heard a woman call me a dog when she caught me looking at her.
    I was locked up as a dog as a child therefore everyone calls me a dog. Nobody is helping me and I can't take anymore. there is nothing worse for someone than for people to say that you are imagining things going on around you that are real. They have used this excuse before that I am imagin9ing things but I swear on my life these things are happening. |My mother refuses to admit she abused me for years called me useless and so forth. Why would I make it up?
     
  2. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear no one believes you :l
    Do you still live with your mom? If you do, I think it might be best if she abused you to be 100% clear from here....

    I'm sure some of that is Social anxiety talking though... 'bout you thinking everyone is talking about you -- I have had that happen, where I really thought people thought nasty things about me, or even just a glare, made me panic.

    If you talk to a therapist they WILL listen they will believe you.

    I know things from childhood can be traumatizing, they do get better!

    - Take care
    Sea
     
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    No people are talking about me. I can hear them clear as day. don't be the one who makes me feel worse please.
    My family have paid people off from talking to me and I heard someone say that too. i am not imagining these things. They are happening and it's fine time I got legal support and took these fucckers to court so they can explain why they locked up a child as an animal and let her starve and eat her own faeces. Things have not got better for me, I was homeless and I also went missing and nobody even reported cos nobody gives a damn. If I died right now nobody would even notice. That is my reality and I do not have social anxiety. I managed to go to a footbal stadium with 98,000 people alone so I doubt you can say I get scared easily.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Are you living with these people? Is there any way to move and get a new start some where? Sounds like you need a way to be free of the town you are in
     
  5. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I was kicked out of their house a year ago. I live away now but it's not far enough. I still have people calling me a dog and ignoring me. It has got to the stage that I have to move right across the country which will be difficult with my money situation and all the doctors i see. I just want recogniton for who my real parents are and the abuse I suffered cos I'm still living it. i go everywhere alone and I mean everywhere I stand out like a fool. Nobody gives a damn about me. people think its' funny I have no friends but I don't.
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Funny? This does not sound funny at all...and those that think it is are pretty disturbed...just consider that when you hear what they have to say
     
  7. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    It is a shocking case but I don't really have anyone on my side. I spend every moment of every day alone and I have never done anything wrong in my life worth speaking of to deserve this. I try going up starting conversationsbut nobody wants to know. I am really at a loss, plus I am single five years now nearly, and I am not that bad looking or that uninteresting. I have a good career and am excelling at uni at the moment plus I'm a published writer, yet none of this seems to matter.
    I don't know what to do anymore.
     
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