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going down

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sui caedere, Sep 18, 2014.

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  1. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    each day is a fight to keep my head up a small part of me wants to keep fighting the rest of me is saying just give up 40 years of shit do I want do this for 40 more years.
    my head feels like it is being crushed.
    most of my family hates me and that is a big tick on the list for giving up on life.
    I know I have down a lot of things wrong in the past but it feels like the past is coming back to finish me.
    I wish I knew what to say or do. Or do I just flip a coin life or death.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's made you feel so bad and brought you to this point? Here if you feel like talking.
  3. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    If i was to put down all the things i feel in my head the forum server will need a shrink.

    The truth is too many things in my head at the same time the more it gets to me the more problems i have.
    I stopped taken my mes a for a bit after my nan died and i ended up in prison and due to this most of my family dont want anything to do with me.

    When i dont take my meds i do things that are not me. But when i start taken then again what i did comes back to me. it makes me feel like i am evil and feel like i have to harm myself or worse. I dont want to tell people what i have done as i dont like others judging me on the other side i feel i need to people so i am understood and can get the help i need.

    i hope this makes some sense
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    From experience I can tell you when there are too many things in your head at once, make a list, go through them slowly and have some support no matter who it is , a friend, family member, or samaritans (they are excellent). Go through them one by one, when you are trying to deal with multiple things at once you brain will go into overload and lead to what is happening now.....you can get through this. There is NO giving up! Not allowed =)

    We're always here for you too! :)
  5. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    I hear you there. No one wants to be judged. You are clear you need to find the right people to help you. You can do it. Think of your first thread here as one of your many first steps.

    Keep posting.
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    what support have you got other than meds?
    makes sense about the not wanting to be judged. this forum is full of good non judging people so if and when your light side wants you can vent it all or as much as you want.
    what about the people in your fam who do not hate you? how is your relationship with them?
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