each day is a fight to keep my head up a small part of me wants to keep fighting the rest of me is saying just give up 40 years of shit do I want do this for 40 more years. my head feels like it is being crushed. most of my family hates me and that is a big tick on the list for giving up on life. I know I have down a lot of things wrong in the past but it feels like the past is coming back to finish me. I wish I knew what to say or do. Or do I just flip a coin life or death.