:love: I am feeling the desire to leave again, I see no hope for now or the future. I am unwell, have been for 20+ years, it is uphil struggle. I met a young man 3 years ago who brought with him a ray of sunshine and feelings of love,excitement,friendship,company, he has been by my side everyday although not in person mmostly. Things are starting to grow dark, he is prepareing to leave my life to form hes own, I will be left alone again. My parents have never been there for me, I was put into childrens home and foster parents then bed and breakfast then my own bedsit and so forth ( still ill dureing all) My father was a heroin addict, My mother was selfish, careing for her boyfriends more than her only daughter. My stepfather when I was at *home* was a bully ad would mock my illness and tell me how useless I was. I am allways fatigued, most often am tired, I can not go out most places due to how I feel. M life is lived through my computer. I have anxiety and Phobias, I have Fistulas. I often think of suicide but have yet to get round to participating in this thought,often desire. Hopeless.