Its odd, isn’t it? How people can become the lies that they tell. We fall into our own traps Learn to live the false reality That’s bled out of our mouths. I watch in silence As I allow another lie to cross my tongue And resign myself to failure and to falsehood. There are times when I cannot help but wonder If anyone is actually who they are Who they seem to be Who they think they are. Surely no one is. Surely I am not. Having one too many times Thrown myself into another’s life Thrust my aching self into another’s skin. I have lost my own shape Stretched myself too often Square peg, round hole logic. Some of what I’ve usurped I can yet identify Separate it out and name its owner. The way I tilt my head in photos Belongs to a woman I loved With tired eyes and a cautious smile, Bittersweet and oddly young. I’m sure she didn’t realize at the time What she was doing to me. I’m sure there was no malicious intent. I’ll keep telling myself That I didn’t know what I was getting into. But then lying to ourselves has become a habit Like nail biting. Like chewing on the ends of your hair Looking both ways before crossing the street Doing things in threes Hitting the snooze button. Unconscious, unavoidable Unnoticed. “I did not have sex with that woman.” Maybe he believed it. “Define sex” Maybe he opened his mouth And closed his mind. Maybe she did. Pun intended. Forgot the man had a wife Forgot that no man who took blow jobs under his desk Was worth her time. Pretended she was somewhere else He was someone else That it would get her somewhere. Maybe she believed it. Subversive self deception. Maybe the mendacity is all that lets us live. White lies in grey areas.