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Going inpatient...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lightbeam, Mar 25, 2010.

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  1. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    well, kind of.

    The hallucinations are back, and they have taken the form of the kids I cannot see. Most noteably my kids with my exwife. I've been dealing with this for the past week or so.

    I just cannot stand seeing my kids crying and sad anymore. I just cannot deal with it anymore. I pay attention to the hallucinations (my kids), they are happy bubbly. But when I don't pay attention to them, they get upset, which in turn gets me upset... and the whole cycle begins over again.

    I'm going to the treatment facility from 3:30pm to 7:30pm over the next 4 days, until I get a walkin appointment with my pdoc, to assess how to proceed.

    I will be on later to check pm's and whatnot, since this is not an all day thing. Wish me luck!
  2. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ***hugs*** for you. Been concerned about you. Hope things work out and you get the help you are seeking. We are all here for you :hug: Keep us updated.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad you are going inpatient until you stabilize good for you taking care of yourself l hope you start feeling better soon.
  4. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    good luck :hug: it may be for the best!! well done for seeking help!! take care!
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    wishing you luck..so gad you're getting treatment......
  6. Katii

    Katii Well-Known Member

    Good luck Jason .. :hug: Glad your getting help
    Take care
    <3 x
  7. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Re: Going inpatient... (update 1)

    Well I was supposed to learn distraction techniques tonight by going to the bookstore and paying attention to the book selections. However, I was too busy running around the bookstore trying to keep my kids (hallucinations, remember?) in a row.

    So night number 1 did not go well, hopefully it'll be better tomorrow night.

    This thread will be my thread to post my experiences.
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    oh wow. yeah i hope tomorrow is better for you. ***hugs***
    thank you for keeping us posted.

    so, how are you feeling?

  9. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I'm exhausted. Because I was keeping track to them all night. Hopefully we stay where I don't lose track of them so easily.
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    that does sound exhausting. **hugs** hopefully tomorrow something a little easier on you.
  11. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I am going to bed now... nighty night...
  12. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Re: Going inpatient... (update 2)

    Today went a little better until my son Sean started wailing because I wasn't paying attention to him (hallucination, remember?) We went for dinner, and everything was fine. The rest of the evening, Sean's there in hysterics, CJ is bawling (also a hallucination), and I am going to my wits end.

    And somehow I manage to keep it all in. To keep myself from going crazy in front of people. I don't want them to think I've absolutely lost it. So I keep it in, until the drive home.

    Sean's (still in hysterics) voice changes to something low and mean. It tells me that it's not a hallucination. I just did my best to ignore it. That's all I can do.

    So I tried distractionary techniques tonight, and they were partly successful. But now I have a horrible headache from all the screaming.
  13. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Re: Going inpatient... (Final Update)

    Well, we played more of the Wii, ate dinner, and had more distraction techniques. We then went to a coffee shop for drinks for our activity.

    The I went and drove with everyone, until those that had to return to housing returned.

    I drove home, and realized that it wasn't much the skills that were taught... it's the fact that I was with people that made it bearable.

    Now that that's all over, I am going to end up sitting in my room with no interaction. It's over. And that's sad. To give someone an outlet like that, and then just to yank it away?

    That's hard on me, because in the end, I craved the social interaction.

    But it's over now. And I can turn to my hallucinations and voices again. And that's sad.
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