Going insane

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sascha, Aug 31, 2013.

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  1. Sascha

    Sascha New Member

    Hey people, I really need to vent. I am struggling at the moment. I have a depression, and it's very bad. I haven't been going to school for halve a year and that made my life miserable. I started to sleep at night times and wake up too late, I didn't do anything else than computering and sleeping. My parents are very mad at me at the moment, because next week school starts. I feel like the world is ending, I feel like I'm worthless piece of shit, I have severe social anxiety and I feel ugly and I'm afraid everybody will hate me at school. A new class, I don't even have a life, all those people are social and stuff. I will envy them. And another thing is, my parents they tell me everyday : YOU DON'T DO NOTHING, NOTHING THIS, NOTHING THAT. And I just went downstairs and told my story, They were like YEAH IT'S BECAUSE YOU DO NOTHING. I started screaming like a maniac and said that they SHUOLD UNDERSTAND ME AND GIVE ME SOME LOVE, THAT WOULD CHANGE THE WOLRD. They said no you should look at the facts, you do nothing.. I'm about to really lose my mind and grip on life.

    I have aggressive behaviours, I hitted the walls and my parents only get more mad at me, they say I'm ****ing insane, and I should stop before they will get me. I said THERES A REASON WHY I DO THIS MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE, and they say Yeah yeah now you ****ing stop. I HATE THEM I REALLY HATE MY PARNETS THEY SHOULD HEAR ME !!!!! OR I'M ****ING KILLING MYSELF !! SORRY... THAT'S HOW I RFUCKING FEEL BUT I HATE THIS LIFE
  2. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I understand that. Just wanting people to listen, acknowledge that my problems are real, take my problems seriously - that has been behind my SI a lot of times. You just hurt so much, and when you tell people they turn it back at you and blame you for your hurt, as though you wanted it to be this way! I know you don't.

    Sounds like your parents don't understand the nature of mental illness very well. It also sounds like you are fixed on trying to get them to listen and understand. You talk to them, you scream at them, you hit the walls, all trying to get them to hear that your problems are real, and they should see that you need help. And when they don't listen then, you think that the only thing that will convince them of what is really going on inside you is if you kill yourself. And that solution has the added appeal of ending all this grief. Does that sound like what you are feeling? I bet it does, and if so, I really do understand :hug:

    We are here for you. We are all here for each other. Don't give up. Take it a little bit at a time, and try to find the hope. They may not be able to understand and support you at this depth - sounds like they just don't "get it." Got a therapist? Friends (maybe you are not very social, but many people who aren't have a very few very tight friends)? For starters, you have us here. I've only started posting a day ago, but I can tell you, the support here is nothing to be sneezed at. :thumb:
  3. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hope you find this forum supportive.

    we are all listening to you
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