Going Mad

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Apr 13, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I think I am going mad. I can't stop my brain from being in overdrive. It has been like it since Sunday. I would just like some sleep now. It's crap living with the parents when you can't get up in the night. I just lie there waiting for the morning with my head going a million miles an hour.

    Sam said I was like I had taken amphetamines. I wish! No appetite though...yay!

    Doesn't look like this quetiapine doesn't do much good.

    Sam wanted me to go to my docs about it. Get some more meds. But I know the GP wont prescribe anything while I am under a psych and I don't see him til 9th May, so looks like nothing will be done until then. I don't mind it that much. I am just frustrated with it. It beats being so low I can't do anything. At least I am being productive with it.
  2. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    *hug awww I feel for you I really do
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    The OP reminded me of a song, Get Set Go's "Sleep". The vocalist sings about how he can't sleep despite being exhausted, and the best part of the song is when he sings, "I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy..."

    Anyway, it's odd that the Seroquel didn't knock you right the hell out. It's the most sedating antipsychotic there is. Maybe it's the drug to blame for this odd rush of energy you have, but that would really be out of left field, so to speak.

    It's...disconcerting that you don't seem to be feeling "high" like someone manic would. You seem more agitated than high, more frustrated, and just a little hypomanic. I guess it's true that someone manic can be irritable or agitated, but that's mostly true of the very young demographic. Maybe I'm wrong, I found your train of thought a little erratic, but whether you're hypomanic or in the beginning stages of a mixed state, it's important not to lose control. Hypomania can quickly become mania if nothing's done about it.

    Okay, you should know that not sleeping is extremely bad. Sleep is a prime regulator of mood. If we get too little or too much, our mood starts to fluctuate.

    Am I to understand you can't get anything medication-related from anyone? No change in meds, no new meds? Because that would be highly unfortunate. And, in that case, you're risking a dangerous situation where a lack of sleep really does make you crazy, and you would need emergency help.

    Keep us posted on this, what you're describing can evolve into something dangerous.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2011
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member


    Be careful with sleep deprivation. Its affect on your judgement is subtle. Unlike with drugs where you know you're on something and you know you're not thinking clearly, the sleep deprived mind thinks it is still completely in control. It took a car accident (my fault) for me to learn this lesson, to start respecting my sleep disorder.
  5. Pollo

    Pollo Well-Known Member

    How are you feeling now? is there something I can do to help you?
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    start keeping a detailed mood diary that you can take with you to your next psych appointment. rate on a 1 to 10 how high/agitated or low you feel. sleep habits, too. that will help them sort out if you have some form of bipolar. if you don't want to bring it up with your psych mention it to sam. she's clearly seeing you in in this condition and has some concerns. hugs.
  7. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Hope you were able to get some sleep, and that today is treating you better.
  8. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I like the idea of a mood diary. I think that's a good idea. Hardly any sleep last night. About 3-4 hours maybe. It's been like that since Sunday. The thoughts are still racing and feel quite hyper.

    It's frustrating.
  9. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    awww hon *hug I have a few ideas for you first of all you need to pick a time you think you need to go to sleep and an hour before get into bed with a good book let the book tire you out let the book be in your mind and let that take away your thoughts and if this does not help please please go to a doc and get some sleepers they are horible tasting but they work give someone the lot and tell them only let you take one if you need it ok.
  10. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    The thing is I am not tired. And I don't wanna risk ruining this mood. Although I am a hyper I feel ok with it. I feel productive and can get loads done. I don't mind not sleeping as I am not tired. It's just bordem at night really.
  11. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    awww hon *hug I accept that when you are ready you will promise to try the things I suggest though right
  12. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    GP, your behavior concerns me, and I'll tell you why.

    First, you say you're "frustrated". That isn't really compatible with a hypomanic state, rather it's more the essence of a mixed state. If your predominant mood is a sort of hyperactive euphoria, then you would be in a hypomanic or manic state. If your predominant mood is frustration, that would be more sounding of a mixed state.

    Having said that, you show little concern for what is happening to you. I believe you are in a very precarious position. Hypomania by itself is generally fine, you can get a lot done and your mood is good. Your creativity soars and your energy is high. It's something no one would want to give up. But you must recognize, hypomania can turn into mania extremely quickly. If you move from a hypomanic to a manic state, you will be putting all your hard work in jeopardy. Your thoughts will no longer make sense, your euphoric mood will skyrocket to dangerous and possibly psychotic heights, and you will be unable to function. The damage a manic episode can cause cannot be understated.

    A mood journal is definitely a good idea. Keep track of how it fluctuates throughout each passing day. It will give you some insight into the course of this hypomanic episode you appear to be in.
  13. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    I think rocket put it better than I ever could please listen to rocket he is very wise and very good he helped me so much.
  14. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    But I am not bi-polar. I haven't been diagnosed with it. I have been here before and after a while it has gone away on it's own. I am not too worried. I can't exactly go to the doctor with "hi, I feel loads happier and I am getting loads done".

    I got tickets for Leeds Festival this morning. Well excited about it! Wooooo.

  15. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    awesome golden *hug glad to hear you feeling good from something
  16. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    just because you haven't been diagnosed as bipolar doesn't mean you're not. you're showing all the symptoms. just keep that mood diary and show it to sam when you see her next... take care, c.
    ps congrats on the tickets!
  17. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Sam wont/can't do anything she is just (I say just but I don't mean just) my counseller. Everything I tell her is confidential. Supposedly. She tells me what I need to do...like the thing with uni. I was made to tell them.

    I worry if I go into too much detail with her she will go over my head on things and think I am not capable.
  18. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Sometimes we do have bursts of energy which enable us to get things done - I look forward to them as it's better than watching too much TV and being bored.

    As for Leeds Festival, hope you enjoy it - hope I can get to a festival myself maybe it will clear the cobwebs of the mind a little and by immersing you into a social maelstrom it might mellow you out when you get back home.
  19. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know sam can't diagnose you, but you see her more often than your psychiatrist and you have some level of trust with her, right? so that's why i want you to keep talking to her about this. she's already noticed your mood shift this week. just keep an open mind. who's to say she will rat you out. bipolar isn't the worst diagnosis. just means different meds. and keeping an eye on things like triggers, lack of sleep, etc. i think you are fearing the worst.


    ps is the shopping spree over? :tongue:
  20. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while but I have come on here a few times to see how you're doing.. I'm thinking of you and hope things improve for you soon

    Jenny x
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