going nowhere

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by am I alive, Nov 25, 2007.

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  1. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    yeah,i'd rather my fucking father used condom that day...jerk

    my life is total waste of time,i don't have anyone in my life to live for,except my mother. I don't get any joy from life and more important i don't bring any joy to others,i'am just burden to everyone. I am still fucking student and don't have a job,and still depend on others,and i am 26.
    I don't even know how it is being happy,and have a normal life,but i am trying to imagine it hearing people around me talking about it.
    Saddest thing is i know i never will be happy,cause i just can't change anything,i can't even get a gf though many of them want to be with me,i am completely social retard,i don't know how to act around people,i am afraid to change anything so i can get a piece of happines for myself. I rather stay the way i am,alone in the dark,and i hate everyone who try to bring some light in my life...I just can't be like others and i know i will never be a normal person,and i know i will never find a kind of human being i belong,so how can i live alone in thise world,how can i survive as a single unit,is it actually posible?
  2. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    im sorry i dont think i can answer your questions about whats possible or not exactly or manage to change things for you.i know this isnt much use to you but im sorry you feel so bad.i just wanted you to know i read.You certainly do sound depressed though.Have you ever considered seeking help for Depression?i hope writing out your feelings helped anyhow and im sure many of us could relate at least to parts of your post and to feeling as stuck in a hole as you seem to feel right now.i hope things improve for you.Please keep venting here and letting us know how you are.Sorry that it has taken me so long to reply to your post and if you ever need anyone i am here and sure many others will be too.Please try and look after yourself.
  3. Tweaks

    Tweaks Member

    You can survive alone in this world...
    I did it too in my hard time i had.
    Im not that single anymore i have a gf and no friends and my grandpa and grandma and im still a student oh andi got some schoolfriends but i only see them at school..but yeah i know how it is to be anti-social.
    But i dont know the answer on your question.
  4. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    Thanks both very much,i just saw your replies i didn't expect any. I saw psychiatrist once but didn't help much,she just gave me some drugs which didn't work also.
    Actually i am not totally alone,i do have a few friends and also know some people at college.But lately i just feel i am loosing contact with them. They all have a gf's or bf's and alot of friends while i don't have anyone besides them. I wasn't born here so i don't have childhood friends,and i don't have friends in place i live,(we don't live in the same place). When i compare myself to them i see how my life is empty which depresses me very much and make dificult to me to hang out with them. When they call me to go out very often i say i can't or something like that and now they think i don't like to be with them. I don't know what to do i just can't be happy and live normal life,i even don't want a girlfriend thouht i am dying to love and be loved,all i see is black,i just want to die...
  5. Beattles

    Beattles Well-Known Member

    i know mate. it sucks assholes when people get boyfriends and girlfriends. they change soo retardedly.
    maybe you need a girlfriend who is in the same boat as you, so maybe you can both die together - happily and loved.
    remember, we might not be able to be with you in person, but the people here still love you and would do as much as they could for ya over a forum/internet
  6. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    Why not talk honestly to those few true friends that you have? Perhaps show them this thread? If you explain to them how being out of your country, without roots, without your family, familiar housing-town-childhood friends etc.. makes you feel isolated and alone inside... they would certainly understand. TEll them why you often decline their invitation to go out too...... how you feel and make you feel. If they are as compassionate as I belive they are, together you can form a tighter unit and form a more positive tight circle on the looking out for each of the group members which is what you seek and need....... and might be what they also need. Give it a try and trust in your friends.

    be well and safe
  7. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    You're not alone. There's nothing wrong with not being "normal". I doubt many "normal" people are as happy as they pretend to be, anyway. Don't ever change yourself to fit in with other people. You just have to find people who like you for who you are, they may be rare but they do exist.
  8. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    Thank you for support it means a lot to me

    @ Mygeeto-I still hope i'll find someone like me,i wish it could be just for a few days,than i can die

    @ Endinday-yeah they are supportive and nice,maybe they know what i am going through,but they can't help much because i am the way i am...

    @ SoulRiser-I am looking for them,but its not easy to find them. I don't think i am stupid or bad person,though i can't say i am perfect,far from it.I do feel like i don't fit in with people around me. I just do not enjoy many things people around me do. Somethimes i hate society and all this material world...all i need is love,its natural,thats something we all need,its not to much to ask for it,but i can't have it. How long i will have to wait for it,should i change myself,is it actually possible to change something you are born with,i don't know...
  9. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    If you change yourself, and someone loves the new version of you, is it real? Would they love the original too? I think being yourself is better. Even if it takes longer to find, when you do, then at least you know it's for real.
  10. Bograt

    Bograt Active Member

    My question is "what the hell is normal?" Takes it from me alive, I am exactly like you, I have nothing in the way of social skills and do not make friends to easy. I tried for a while to "fit in" and be like everyone else, but it was a waste of time, everyone knew I was pretty much faking it and it did not make me any happier to act like someone I was not. Eventually I said "screw it!" and decided to be just like myself, and damn the world if it had a problem.

    It was hard as hell for a while not really having friends but over time I just kept plugging along and found other people that thought like me. Not that they were just like me, but that they did not want to fit in with "normal" and wanted to be themselves. On of those people is my wife, and even though she had to hit on me hard enough to leave bruises for me to realize she was interested in me, we made it eventually (it just took a lot of patience on her part).

    The point is, you need to be yourself and be patient. It may take a long, painful time but you will find people you can relate to and hang out with. But its also good you found SF here for support when the world seems to be against you! Most of us are in the same boat, believe it or not!
  11. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    "Normal" is that thing that everyone tries to be like, but nobody ever manages to reach it because it doesn't really exist :)
  12. Bograt

    Bograt Active Member

    Thats my point exactly! Why try to be what everyone else is trying to be and failing? Why not just try to be what you are best at being: yourself! If some people cannot handle that, F them! (unless, of course, "yourself" involves lots of prison-style sex with sheep.... then just try to be "normal", LOL!)
  13. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    Everyday when you wake up, thank your maker for atleast 11 things in your life that are right. your situation will start changing. I promise you.
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