Zoloft, Lithium, Depakote, Effexor, Geodon, Abilify, Ativan, Lexapro, Cymbalta, Klonopin, Remeron, Wellbutrin, Zyprexa. This is a list of meds I've tried over the past five years to relieve my depression with no good results. I am currently two weeks off of Zoloft and Abilify, and have just decided to stop taking my last two meds: Remeron and Depakote. So far, I don't feel much different, except for the constant headaches and dizziness, which I hope will soon pass. In the past I have had some serious drug abuse problems, thinking that I could achieve better living through chemistry, and after doing a personal inventory have found that my drug seeking behaviors extend to my psychiatric medications as well. I am recently unemployed and have just lost my health insurance so I decided to make a full commitment to becoming completely drug free. I know that the withdrawal effects of these medications can be somewhat unpleasant, but I have decided to hang in there and see if they will go away in a few months. I am completely fed up with being a slave to these medications, and it doesn't help that I can no longer afford to take them and pay my bills at the same time. The side effects of these medications have left me feeling like a toxic waste dump, with every new symptom I get I can no longer discern what side effect is being caused by what drug. After being on psych meds for the past 15 years, I have found that they don't actually work for me anymore as intended, and that I only experience side effects from now anyway. So I'm starting with a semi clean slate, my only question now is what withdrawal effects I am experiencing from what drug. I'm thinking about going old school now: thinking happy thoughts, exercising, eating a healthy diet, quitting smoking, and cutting out caffeine. I just want to feel like myself again, me without the drugs, and to try to love myself completely no matter what I become without them.