Going through the toughest moment of my life

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Orion4, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. Orion4

    Orion4 Member

    I posted some information about this in my introduction a week ago or so, but I thought maybe it would get seen or receive some better input if I posted it here.

    My girlfriend left me nearly two weeks ago. We were in a long distance relationship and she stated that she started to grow lonely. That ended it. Other than that, our relationship was very healthy and we communicated very well. We had our arguments at times like everyone else, but we always calmly settled them and it strengthened us.
    I asked her to keep her heart open and try to work things out with us again later this year and she said 'maybe'. She said she still loves me and really wanted to make sure I know that. But, now she's already with someone else, part of me feels like it won't be anything to worry about and another makes me feel like I've lost her forever. She made contact with me the other day for the first time. She hoped that I was doing okay and asked about my mother. The thing that bothered me the most was how she worded it, she only said 'mom' as if it was her own and not 'your mom'. Something sort of tells me she's still emotionally bonded to my family or she just doesn't know what she did and it was subliminal. I had no choice but to ignore it. Like I've heard before "give her the gift of missing you"

    I've sought far and wide for advice about this or some encouraging words but all I keep doing is getting my hopes crushed, telling me it's dead and gone for good.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    long distance relationships are so hard to maintain keep in contact with her but move on okay find someone closer to where you live so the relationship has more of a chance to survive. hugs
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Honestly if she says she still loves you but quickly got with someone else she was probably just letting you down easy.
  4. Orion4

    Orion4 Member

    The thing is, with this I can't move on. That is the love of my life. Everyone acts like it's so easy to just go out and find a new one. It pisses me fucking off that no one can get it through their fucking head.
  5. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    It's not that easy, and I too find it very difficult to move on from my exes. Took me ten years and a change of country to get over one - THE one, or so I believed (for a very very VERY long time). I also had an ex that long after I left the country, he was still going round to my parent's house for dinner without me - so I understand about your partner having a bond with your family (I often think my parents liked my ex better than they liked me!)

    Nobody's saying it's easy to let go, and nobodys saying getting a new one is the way to go about moving on. The thing I have learnt is that the cliche "time helps" is actually true. The amount of time might vary for people, and will vary in yourself depending on who you loved, but time really helps - in my case, ten years of time.

    It may or may not be dead - if she says she still loves you, then maybe she does - I and no one else on this forum can answer that question. I know that you want to hear encouragement that all is not lost and gone. But perhaps giving yourself some distance for awhile would be beneficial for you - to either get your head clear and decide what you want, or to give you both some space to think about things.