going to be hell today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by andyc68, Nov 10, 2007.

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  1. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    not feeling good at all today, i feel very low and extremely anxious, such a loser but i have got my kids today on my own and then my parents will be round too, they are all great but don't know how i feel so i will again be putting on a show for then.

    they will see the fake andy, the andy that shows how well he is yet i will be screaming inside, i feel tired already.

    gong to be a very hard day, a very long day.

    well here goes then.
  2. bhr

    bhr Well-Known Member

    Come back here today if you need a shoulder to lean on.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 10, 2007
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    thank you, i will pop in later once the kids get stuck into the ps2 and pc games lol.

    wish me luck
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    well in 30 mins i have to take the kids back, it has been hard, very hard.
    but once i get home i know i am going to be alone again, if this is what its going to be like then bugger this, i am not going to go thru this again, this isnt a life, my kids dont notice me, only want things from me but dont know i am here and i want to be with them,.

    life isnt worth this pain, its not worth being ignored by those i love and should keep me with hopes of happiness.

    i have the house to myself till 6pm tomorrow, i got know idea what i will do till then but i hope the despair and anxiety won't get to me too much.
  5. bhr

    bhr Well-Known Member

    Just come back and post here. Seems like people are always around...
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i was right, that was one hell of a day.

    had my parents round this morning and i wanted to tell them how i felt but i didnt even come close to mentioning depression and suicide and they were giving me the ' pull yourself together ' speech.
    i am 40 years old and i can't even get them to understand just a bit of how i feel.
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