Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Enden, Jan 6, 2009.

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  1. Enden

    Enden Guest

    Hello the world. Im in a situation with no way out beside living in a tent in the middle of the winter. I'm 36 years old and has been in a decline for over two years now. This is the end. Social phobia makes it hard for me to call anyone, and I cannot live here anyone.

    My plan was to live in the tent. Spent alot of money buying equipment. New tent, backpack, clothes and more, but I will miserably fail so I wont even try it. Only thing I find sad that it will be my mother that will find me in her own bathroom. Maybe I can put a note for her to see so she will not enter.

    Its a selfish thing to do yes, but she will be very happy that Im gone. We are not talking anymore, and she wants me out as soon as possible, and that's not something I say to justify it. She really wants me to leave, and I have been wanting to leave for two years now, and have been self medicating with alcohol to get by.

    Will have to take the bus to get to the shop wich sells < Mod Edit Hazel: Method >, and I hate the bus, but I will make it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    you want to kill yourself with < Mod Edit Hazel: Method >?...
    you know that < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > dosnt kill right?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  3. Regenesis

    Regenesis Well-Known Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    What is < Mod Edit Hazel: Method >?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  4. bluebear

    bluebear Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    Isn't it something you make cigarettes of? *shrug*
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    Isn't < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > taken after an overdose to clean out the toxin? :unsure:
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  6. Enden

    Enden Guest

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    Google it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  7. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    hiya enden, welcome to sf. i have children myself and yes, we argue and fall out occasionally, just like all parents and childen do. but, i still love them immeasurably and would never ever be glad that they died by any method no matter what they had done! :nono:
    My son is not allowed to live with me anymore but i still love him. i cant live with him, he drives me nuts!
    Please dont do this to yourself, your mother would never get over it. I'm sure she will not be very happy if you kill yourself. She may want you out of her home but it's not because she hates you or wants you dead. do not believe that leaving a note will stop her rushing into her bathroom in the hope of being in time to save you because it wont, believe me.
    Stay here a while and talk to us instead, give us the chance to help you please. You never know, we might just be able to do so! Give us the chance Enden :)

    Lea :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  8. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    Man ive got such unbearable social phobia and it seemed to cover me rather quickly. I dont know how it got so bad. PM me. Sometimes it helps just to have someone to relate to....i know it helps me

    :arms:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  9. Enden

    Enden Guest

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    No talk can help. I have gained so much weight. Lost my health, my dog and the isolation and hopelessness have been so bad for a long time now. Im in the worst shape of my life, and I see no way out but death. I have tried to get help, but not even my doctor understood.

    Beersale open for 1 hour and 15 minutes more. Spent so much money on alcohol but without life is hell.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  10. _Steph_

    _Steph_ Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    Hi

    Why don't you stick around for while and chat to us? It probably is the last thing you want, but it sounds like a few on hear are willing to hear and talk to you.

    < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > is not the answer and notes mean so little.

    Steph
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  11. bluebear

    bluebear Member

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    You know I am tired of the talking too sometimes but it does help,even if sometimes it's not enough it does make you feel a bit better.
    What did your mom do?You know,I am not a teen anymore and maybe that's why having dark thoughts bc of my family is making me even more angrier...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2009
  12. Enden

    Enden Guest

    Re: Going to buy < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > tomorrow

    A week ago I said I would leave yesterday or today, but my new shoes arrive tommorrow. Im on the end of the line. I cannot stay around.

    I have been getting social security money for 4 years now after I had to quit my job because of my phobia. Have not had any friends for many many years.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Enden,
    Do you have any siblings or a good friend you can stay with while you look for a place of your own? You say you get social security, do you pay your way with your mom? Are you on meds? If so you need to quit drinking because it kills the effect of some meds like AD's.
    I live with my sister because we are both divorced and if it wasn't for my help financially she would loose her house. I also spend a couple hundred a month out of my SSI to buy groceries. You have to pay your way, maybe that is what your mom is so upset about. Then again maybe not. I don't know you so I really can't say for sure. Have you thought about efficiencies or a studio apt. There small but alot easier to keep clean.LOL. Take Care and I hope things get better for you!~Joseph~
     
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