I thought I was doing better. Guess I was wrong. I keep causing the ones I care about a lot of pain. Bad enough that I hurt. Can't stand looking at the pain I cause. I can't keep my head. I'm too unstable and there is no cure. No one deserves the hurt I cause. My grandpa killed himself to spare his family. They were better off. I have a plan to do the same. Last post. Bye.