Going to do it soon. I can't cope with this chronic pain.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by caliban, Oct 14, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. caliban

    caliban Active Member

    I just can't deal with the constant neuropathic pain I'm in anymore. Let a lone my life falling to such an extent after my injury. I took some chances and had been successful in my past but during my 20's I took chances to try to improve my career (commission sales work. No insurance because I didn't think I would need it) I have a few glimmers of hope here and there but physically I just can't deal with this pain and what it's doing to me. I can't see any way to get myself out of the situation I'm in and if I ever finally do, I can't see myself being able to bear this pain. It feels like a rational choice for me to end my life now. I've had a few people give me encouragement but I've become too much for them now. They're all overloaded with their own problems let a lone to hear from me anymore. I've lost all my friends basically. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore.

    I'm already getting disability. Which is just SSI and well below poverty level. I went from earning more income in a day then what I receive on the social security now. I'm not old enough to qualify for SSDI, which pays much more. I'm only 30 now and in such horrifying and terrifying physical pain and depression from all of this that I just can't see any way out anymore. I don't have a clear moment of comfort. Not even in my sleep. 3-4 hours is all I can manage before I wake up in agony. I've resorted to heavy pain medications and they don't do anything for my except make me high and feel more depressed and hopeless. Here I am a formerly handsome and successful guy on the breakthrough of true success and now I am crippled with pain living in terrible poverty alone without and comfort in sight. I just can't handle this anymore.

    I really don't want to die deep down inside. I'm a fighter and always have been. Always wanted to do things my way. Had so much going for me. Riding the wings of finally being happy and having everything I could have wanted, and it all came crashing down after my injury. It's just a nonstop nightmare everyday. To me it's a rational choice just to end this now.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do hope you can get some help go to a learning hospital one that does research for such pain You are a fighter hun so don't give up not yet okay who knows what will happen to help you in future hugs
     
  3. snickers

    snickers Member

    Sounds to me that your drs could be helping you more . I feel for you as I am in cronic pain also it is hard for others to understand that it is more than willpower needed to live in these levels of pain.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I truly know what you are going through as I also have this type of pain...it took six doctors to find someone who has actually helped...for me, my pain meds keep my pain at a liveable level until the last hr, and then I use motrin as the breakthrough med (does not really work that well)...there are so many new meds that are available, and many people I have spoken to have had success on a combination of them...please continue to try to find some relief...I live in the NY City area, so if you are around here, please let me know so I can share my findings with you...I hope you find some respite soon...as I said, I truly know what this nightmare feels like...also, if you ever want to vent to someone who is going through this as well, my PM box is always open...J
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.