I need to drop the mask for a minute. I've been really deeply sad for about a year now. My college work is overwhelming me, and I will probably be forced to drop out of school. My father doesn't like to talk or even look at me anymore. He hasn't been proud of me in years, especially now. But all I really want in life is for him to be even a little happy that I'm his son. I'll miss my school a lot, the friends I've made here. Most of them, even my closest friends, don't have any clue what sort of of trouble I'm in. I haven't had any peaceful sleep in weeks, I'm so behind in my work I can't think of anything else. My professors think I'm lazy and don't care, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just don't know what happened to the strong person I used to be. It wasn't so long ago that I was happy, but somewhere along the way my confidence got ruined. I'm in a a situation I never thought I'd be in, and I'm having thoughts I never would have dreamed myself capable of. The humiliation and the sense of failure grow every day. I'm working as hard as I can, but if I get kicked out of college, I just don't know what I am going to do.