Going to go it on my own

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by spidy, Dec 29, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I m writing this this to say thnx to all those who have been here for me but as of tonght im not gunna bother anyone anymore not saying im killing myself well not yet anyway just need to have no contact with ppl as im sick of making fool of myself and hasling ppl with my probs.I feel as low as anything and going to go back to my dark hole.I will stop seeing kids for a while and will cease contact with anyone till im better and only i can do this i need to be alone i cant handle anyone or thing anymore.I told someone somethng today tht ive kept to myself for nearly 20 yrs and it hasnt made me feel better made me feel worse within myself.I will either become better or make the other choice but i am going to isolate myself from the world as i dont belong.I do feel like im a hinderance to everyone around me and even with prof help i even feel im a whinging nusiance pain here.I cant rid this depression and im not going to put my probs or this sucky life of mine onto others.The fght is my own now what ever the outcome better or dead.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just want you to know that you're not a hindrance to anyone here, and you're not a pain. Just remember that you ALWAYS have a place here. There are people who care about you and want to be there for you, if you'll let us.

    :hug: Always here if you need anything. I hope you change your mind about isolating.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sounds like your depression is 'talking'...many ppl isolate themselves during these times...maybe try the opposite, have more contact and see how you feel...big hugs, J
  4. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member


    Since I don't see being alone with myself as my best measure of what my own care needs to be....

    its easy to be alone and its good to know you can do it at times....you have built something here and people are listening here....i for one and it only takes one person

    maybe this can be reconsided by you and you can remeasure your feelings one more time

    i could say more but it would be the same thing others are thinking and writing to you
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Gav I agree with the others. This isnt you but rather your suicidal thoughts and the depression talking. You have made friends here that support you and want to continue to support you. Yes there is many things that we can do for ourselves alone. But not allowing anyone else in only complicates things.

    But no matter what we say you are going to do what you are most comfortable with. Just please hold on to the knowledge that others here do really and earnestly care about you and want to help anyway we can. You are a hindrance. You are a person with real pain and problems. Somebody that came here looking for a place to belong. Well you managed that hun. You belong. So please dont hesitate to start up another thread whenever you need to. You still need others no matter how hard you are trying to make yourself see differently.
  6. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I figured there is no point in help from outside as i just get bck to this state of mind within hours or days i really dont know what is wrong with me but i am good at one thing and thts failure.Im so hurting deep inside at moment and i dont know whats triggering it all i can put it down too is life.I wish i knew what would fix me is why im going to push everyone around me away ive had few friends tht have kept there distant which tells me who i am now so better if i just let rest go tht way they dont have to run and hide.I got better for little while but i keep ending back up in this sht state and to be honest im sick of it so i dont blame others.Have had few days with kids but im just a stick in the mud ya thnk id be real happy but im not.I just dont know what to do with myself apart from just letting this evil win.I m not fghting anymore just going to go with what it tells me to do easier.Going to spend the next couple of days with kids then head off into my own world i need to be alone thts what i deserve i guess tht was the destiny picked for me so be it.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.