I'm 23, and my life is utterly, utterly hopeless. I fucking hate. EVERYTHING about my life here. Indianapolis will be the DEATH of me, this corn-infested shithole of a city! I left public school when I was in 5th grade. I did it for two reasons; one, I was a fucking outcast. Everyone, without fail, hated me, spoke about me behind my back, rejected me from any groups, refused to even speak to me so I could fucking find out what everyone's miserable little problem with me was. The other reason? I was being held back by the school. I always wanted to go on to more advanced subjects, but year after year that stupid elementary school just kept repeating the SAME FUCKIN CRITERIA. I remember, time and time again, thinking to myself, "I did this LAST year.". Point is, I started homeschool with my intelligent and accomplished father (top of his class Navy engineer and teacher) tutoring me. That was fine and all, and I learned a lot. I got a real interest in intellectual subjects. Poetry, writing, science, formal logic, critical thinking...never took much to the math, mostly because I knew calculators existed and that I really didn't need to do any manual arithmetic. Got really good at computers, always able to fix problems even my Dad didn't know how to solve. Then we moved to California for a year when I was 12. Happiest year of my life. Every day, there was something bright and new around the corner, some interesting new challenge, you know? But then. Then we had to move back. Back to this FUCKING. FUCKING. FUCKING. FUCKING TOWN. You know what's here in Indianapolis? NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. Sports bars...and churches. Around every fucking corner, it's another sports bar or another fucking church. I left Christianity for a rather logical reason, that being that there is NO FUCKING EVIDENCE for his existence and believing in this imaginary being was driving me up a wall. Don't need another fucking church! Where are the poetry places? Where are the venues for free, intellectual discussion? Well, in all my years of looking, I HAVE NEVER FUCKING FOUND ONE. THOUGHT I did recently, but then I called them and they've been turned into a FUCKING AUTOMOTIVE shop. HOW DOES THAT EVEN FUCKING HAPPEN?! THE MAGIC OF INDIANAPOLIS, THAT'S FUCKING HOW! Even the art museum is nothing but a fucking bore. Are there events? Is there anything relevant at all to my interests? OF COURSE NOT. OF. FUCKING. COURSE NOT. I HATE sports. I HATE religion. I can't fucking escape this place, either! I have sent application after application after application, and NO ONE FUCKING HIRES ME. Can't even get enough of a leg up to GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. AHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, but what about COLLEGE, you might ask? Well, guess what. I can't get any funding without having my parents take out their oh-so-wonderful "Parent Plus" loan. You know how old my parents are? THEY'RE FUCKING 65! THEY'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE OUT MORE LOANS! They already put their other 3 children through college. So now. I am FUCKING STUCK. NO HOPE. NO DREAMS. NOTHING. JUST THE SAME FUCKING TOWN EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR THE REST OF MY GOD DAMN LIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I REFUSE! I WILL TAKE MY OWN LIFE BEFORE I'M SUBJUGATED TO JUST ONE MORE DAY OF THIS LOVECRAFTIAN NIGHTMARE OF CORN AND MEDIOCRITY! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! I REFUSE! I REFUSE!