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Going to Overdose today. I hope this works.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bloodrose, Apr 3, 2008.

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  1. Bloodrose

    Bloodrose Member

    There is no way out for me now. I have nothing left. There is no way out of my schizophrenia anymore. My last chance for life ended when I had my ECT. It ruined me completely.

    My only regret is that my mom has no one else to look after her. But my being around is a curse anyway.

    I'm just waiting for her to go out long enough any moment now. I'm going to barricade the door. I hope this works.

    God forgive me, I have nothing left.

    Thanks to the guys who made this forum for open communication.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    bloodrose you have survived many terrible things.
    please do not give up yet.
    your mother will miss you terribly, and although you think you are doing her a favour you are not. that is the illness talking.
    please get somewhere safe? i'm not big with the hugs, but for you.... :hug:
  3. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    hi there rose, how have you been doing now?
  4. Bloodrose

    Bloodrose Member

    hi, I just survived the attempt yet again... and the pills costed me $160

    2cents. I'm still stuck in the same situation where I was back a few months back.
  5. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. All that time and money and effort you put into your suicide attempts. Why not try and put the same amount into making your life more bearable.
  6. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    You might end with a
    malfunctioning kidney to the point u
    have to cathertherized yourself.
    Not only that ,,not too many kidneys & liver out
    there are available for transplant
    unless you want a cow liver, or chicken gissard
    just go to
    Market Basket they have it all
  7. Placebo

    Placebo Well-Known Member

    Let me guess... you barfed it all up?

    That is what happened to me on my 2nd attempt, back in '98. Took a whole bottle of *mod edit - methods* but because my stomach is so sensitive, I wretched 'em up an hour later. I'm sure some of it did get into my system though, as I was very sleepy, the next day.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2008
  8. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Hi Bloodrose
    Please don't hurt yourself again its not worth it. I've overdosed loads of times and I'm still here but I've damaged my body through it. I have kidney failure and I'm 100% sure its through overdoses although the doctors won't say but I never had any problems with my kidneys untill I started doing that. Although my kidney probem hasn't reached the stage where I need a transplant but I live with the fact that will happen at some point as my kidney function keeps going down with each blood test. And you can believe me or not but its not a nice thought to live with each day that at some point someone may well have to die in order for me to live and I don't like that thought as I know I wouldn't deserve it as so many people are on the transplant list through no fault of there own. But I can't change that now the damage has been done and I'm not going to say I won't od again as I think about it all the time sometimes it feels like the only option but what if I don't succeed I would be worse off than I am now. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say here as I'm rather drunk another thing I shouldn't be doing. But I guess what I'm trying to say probably badly is would you want to end up like me facing kidney dialysis or worse needing a transplant at some point. All I would say is just think about it as overdosing may not kill you and may lead to more problems that you wouldn't want. I have tried so many times and it hasn't worked. I'm really sorry if I have offended anyone with what I have said but that is what can happen with overdoses
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't do this to yourself again bloodrose. You're only damaging your body and your mother will be very upset if she finds your body. Please get help. :hug:
  10. AnomymousX

    AnomymousX Well-Known Member

    That's what almost happened to me when I overdosed.
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