Ive been thinking about trekking outside on an abandoned trail and laying down in the snow to die once i become too tired to go on like a soldier. The only thing that stops me is my parents. I find it hard to keep positive. Ive been rejected by so many people. I can't make friends and no woman would want me. I am highly unattractive and I think some people dislike me for it. I have doubt if i will be able to hold down a job in the future so i fear being homeless. Also i am 23 with no job experience and no drivers license because i just can't drive a car. Living in Michigan you are guaranteed to be unemployed without a license. If it wasn't for my parents i'd do myself in. I know its irrational but i fear having at the affects of my suicide in the afterlife (something i wouldn't want to see).