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Going to try getting back to work after some issues.

#1
So for a number of possible reasons, among them generalized anxiety, body dysmorphia due to a haircut I had, and potential vitamin deficiency (which I'm trying to correct now), I was unable to hold down my last (which was my first) job for more than 2 months. I was finding it hard to remember how to complete certain tasks at work, and taking too long to do others. I feel like I quit before they either fired me or gave me less hours.

I don't really want to get addicted to anxiety meds so not gonna opt to try those (if I could even get them prescribed). I am on other meds though.

I'm 24 and still have yet to pursue a college education. I've spent a lot, lot of time in therapy and am almost ready to move on. I'm hoping to work and get my own apartment (something I still have yet to accomplish) and try to get some money for some online education programs.

I feel like I have recovered from my suicidal ideation and also from feeling unhealthy and weak. However there's an important med change I want to make happen before I start working, and I'm not allowed to negotiate that for another 2 months. In the meantime, just got to get a dentist appointment and maybe buy myself a backpack. And professional, plain face masks that have a wire for the nose so I can wear them without my glasses fogging.

So I essentially failed before and am looking to make sure it doesn't happen again, and maybe this time I can commit more fully to my work environment and succeed. I figure lots of people who struggle with stuff get jobs eventually so there shouldn't be anything really holding me back other than lack of concentration, which hopefully I won't struggle with this time around.
 

MisterBGone

✨✨✨
SF Supporter
#2
First of all... “congratulations!” On your decision to enter the workforce for the first time, and also to acknowledge that by getting your health in order, this will ultimately lead to the best possible outcome or path of success—
Now, given that it was your first job recently, your first time or experience, this is of course going to be something of a new challenge. And present difficulties that you may not be used to (sort of like getting in shape physically, or going to school & studying - mentally). If you’ve never tried anything like either of those endeavors, there could be some new growing pains along the way.

what it takes is an ability to adapt & adjust, to learn how to handle the various new levels of stress that can no doubt seem overwhelming at first, and perhaps make one inclined to quit sooner than later (out of fear that it’ll only get worse). But in reality, it is hard on everyone often times when they start a new position because they’ve got to learn new things. And so this is where typically, or most often, the majority of mistakes, and thereby uncomfortableness, or feelings of discomfort are likely to occurs.
The key or trick is to handle the adversity through this grace period (where employers allow you to go through this learning curve), and then to be there to reap the benefits of what happens when everything starts to slow down and it all gets a bit easier. This is a process that people with lots of experience can understand a little better. So they do maybe have a little bit of a leg up in that regard.
I think that the key will be to select something that you think you will like, be interested in, but also be practical enough to where it’s not too difficult to attain just when starting out. As success in the workplace environment should be priority number one at this point. And then you can always go and get a better job later.
good luck & maybe you could volunteer if that’s possible in the interim months to come. As that would be excellent practice for what you’re going to have to go through , both in terms of commitment & task or goal achieving orientation. . .
 
#4
You might want to check out the link in my signature, in particular the sub-links on Chinese medicine and self-treatment methods. I'll post copies here in case you're on a phone

https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...iety-insomnia-pain-other-suicide-help.166835/

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

I'm 24 and still have yet to pursue a college education
If you qualify for vocational assistance for people with disabilities, they can give you free tuition in some cases.

There's more info about vocational assistance in this sub-link

US, UK, Canadian, and Broader International Resource Links
 
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#5
I guess when I was a kid in school, everything was easy and with work things didn't come as naturally to me. Well, some things like most aspects of the cash register, did. But even with that I had issues. But I only gave myself 2 months. I think I have problems with gauging what authority figures want from me when they are telling me how to do my job when I am messing up. I was so convinced that they would decrease my hours, and that they wouldn't go back up, and I'm avoidant so I would never want to have that conversation of "I can do better."

I am thinking I know where I want to apply. I'm getting interview clothes tomorrow. I think I am ready for this. My main changes will be:

- taking vitamins/supplements
- planning to take a taxi to work instead of walking like I was doing before (no idea why I would do that to myself either)
- asking for full-time this time
- giving myself more time to learn how to do my job

Happy new year and thanks for the responses
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#7
I feel like I have recovered from my suicidal ideation and also from feeling unhealthy and weak.
I am happy to read that.

It sounds like you have a reasonable plan. Did you get those interview clothes today?

I'm avoidant so I would never want to have that conversation of "I can do better."
I understand where you are coming from on this. This is one of the main areas I have been working on for the last few years. Progress is slow but is happening. If this is something you want to work on, I encourage you to start earlier rather than later.

I hope you can be more optimistic about what your manager or co-worker might be thinking of you. Maybe you have that covered when you say you plan to give yourself more time to learn the job.

Wishing the best success at your new work! Remember that even if it doesn't work out this time, one company's opinion of you does not define who you are.
 

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