Well, that's odd. My first attempt seems to have vanished. I understood that it would be moderated until my account was…whatever, but I got the email from the admin and my thread never posted. In any event, I'm broke, about to be evicted, will lose all possessions, failure at everything, 49 years down the drain. No solution but the exit. Initial problem was avoidant personality (typically brought on by withdrawal of parental affection). Have no money , can't earn any, so can't even go across country to< edit moderator total eclipse against rules harming someone> Let the "you have so much to live for!" empty platitudes begin! Sorry, I'm probably going to be a little pissy. Tough to keep the self-loathing from ruining my worldview, you know.