Gone.

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DatAlgorithm

Well-Known Member
#1
the chance I had to leave the piece of shit city I live in is gone because I don't have enough money. I've decided my time to die will be soon, and everything will be ok anyways; not like the world's gonna lose a climate scientist, petrochemical engineer, cancer scientist or even a forklift driver (I can't drive one of those things for shit, of course, amongst all the other things I can't do) since my parents were too stupid and self-indulgent to only have my brother and been happy that they could have ANY. No, it this ridiculous religion-based peer pressure that tells everyone "HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD OR YOU ARE A FAILURE AS A HUMAN BEING" no matter HOW bad this overpopulation problem has gotten.

Anyways, I won't get into that... I'm just finished and I have no intention of living to see 30, and if I will, I can guarantee there's a 99% chance I won't like it. I'm done.
 
#3
I just want to die myself now, trying to get up courage to go through with it. My adult life has been like a surreal bad dream. I am more alone now than I have ever been, I feel like a failure even I have tried my hardest to improve myself and my life. Last year I had a small surgery and was put under for 3 hours, when I came to I just wanted to go back to that "nothingness" as I felt nothing. If death is just lights out then all the better for me!! Depression & Anxiety has been with me all my life except for a month when I was 20 and it felt great but ever since it's ever present despite everything I have done to heal myself. The only relief I get is when I am driving long distances but I can't live like that sadly. I accept the ups & downs of life but when my mind is constantly affected by those conditions it is hell. I pray for my death every night and every morning I wake up I feel awful & ill at ease. I now accept there is no cure for my ailments and don't believe in miracles so I want to die rather than go on with this pain. Thanks for listening.
 
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