Gonna do it!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by daredevil22r, Jul 11, 2009.

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  1. daredevil22r

    daredevil22r Member

    It has pushed me to the breaking point. I can't handle it anymore. Family doesn't seem to care anyways. I'm gonna make my rounds and in my own way say my goodbyes. Then by this time tomorrow I'll find peace.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey sorry your feeling this way life can be a bbb sometimes. There will be no peace there will be nothingness. The only way out of this dam pain is to get help reach out and call crisis team call your doctor talk to councillor teacher anyone who will listen and get the help you deserve you desperately need. Noone will come to you i found that out you need to go get the help demand it so you can start living life again so you can finally get rid of the pain that is killing you. You don't want life to end you want peace so call crisis now and talk with them okay take care and always support here anytime you need to vent
  3. Please don't. The fog in the brain, in the heart, the pressure of the darkness — it's hellish, I know. But there are ways to come out of it.

    I think you realize that, if you were in a more rational state, you would seek help. And there is help. Call a hotline — 1-800-SUICIDE is one. Go to a hospital. Call 911.

    You can talk to doctors and you can talk to counselors. You can talk to us, too. Tell us what you have to say, how you feel, and what is working and what is not. Share your writing.

    Please, don't be so skeptical about medication. It doesn't typically dull a person — and you are talking about being dead! — and your body doesn't get used to it in such a way that you have to take more and more. (If this seems to be happening after some time, usually the drug is switched for a slightly different one.) Moreover, medication is very often for temporary assistance, not something people need for years and years.

    You must realize that your sense that your family does not care could be a symptom of your depression. And you do not want to hurt them, I think, even if they hurt you — and certainly not like this. What your mother will feel is even worse than what you feel now. She will blame herself, and she will hate herself, not just for things she did to hurt you, but for having cancer, for accepting your help, and for living when you are dead.

    Call a hotline. Do what you have to, right now, for you.

    And let us know how you are. Feel free to PM me anytime, and if you want to chat let me know what services you're on — I'll send you my handle or sign up for an account as needed.

    Please don't leave this world. There is hope for you.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Please don't do it :(

    It might not seem like it now,but it will improve,your depression will ease.
    Keep reaching out for help.
    What has pushed you to this? :hug:
  5. daredevil22r

    daredevil22r Member

    What pushed me? Well, for 2 and a half years, my girlfriend had convinced me that everything was my fault. From her getting hysterical and screaming at me during fights. To her slamming the car door on my leg. It was all my fault. So i have lived my life that way.
    Mom has cancer, she's finally beating it, and things get worse. Right now, my sister took her to the ER. For a year, I have seen my mom have 2 heart attacks at the hospital, I saw them revive her and how her body jumped every time they shocked her. I am watching my mom slowly die day by day. Today, she just quit.
    My girlfriend left me, my fault again. Then she goes and tells my older brother that I am going to kill myself. At that point, I didn't feel like that. So my brother calls and treats me bad.
    Then, when I begin to think that I am going to beat this depression, my ex show up at my door. She had gone out, and I didn't pay attention to it. I was too tired to deal with it at 2 in the morning! So she proceeds to make me feel like shit and says it's my fault because I told her I was gonna kill myself.
    The following day is when I realized that she just wanted to feel better about going out, and blaming me for it. And guess what, it worked!
    I don;t know what I'm doing I feel like I have completely lost my mind. I can't function or do the small things I used to enjoy. I am just at the end of my rope.
    Killing myself will not only end the pain but maybe I will find my peace.
  6. hellohello

    hellohello Member

    the people in your life are the wrong ones for you at the moment... they really are... when you are down you can't have people who only make you feel worse... naturally, you will only feel worse and worse and worse... i can't believe how insensitive everyone around you is... why is your ex still living with you by the way? she needs to go!!! you can't have someone like that around you at the moment... you need to surround yourself with caring people... if that's going to be difficult, you need to find yourself a good therapist... it can take a while, but it's worth it...r eally, knowing that you at least have someone that you can see once or however many times a week it takes, who will listen to you and won't scream at you and slam car doors on you.... i really feel for you... you don't need all this right now... but it sounds like the people around you are not very helpful so you will have to do it all, you will have to find the energy to look for a therapist... do it! it will help!!! promise...xxxxx
  7. I am so sorry.
    What do you mean she'd "gone out"? She doesn't live with you, does she? If she does, get out, or kick her out. Seriously, she needs to go away — completely. Call the phone company now and block her home and cellphone numbers. If she calls anyway, hang up. No discussion. "Stop calling" — not one more word. File a harassment complaint if you have to.

    If she comes to visit, don't open the door. Tell her to get off the property. If she won't, call the cops. Not one more word. You have a right to your own life!

    Don't think of her as your ex. Think of her as walking, talking poison. Because to you, she is.
    Yes — because you’re in severe clinical depression. This is a well-understood illness, and you have all the symptoms. When I think of all you've been burdened with, I'm not surprised: a lot of people would crash from dealing with half the stuff you're dealing with now.

    Treatment exists. Your circumstances can change.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2009
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