Just thought i'd share this with you lot. I am going to go back to seek therapy. I've seen the attitudes on here similar to mine and I seem to think I'm right and everything I feel is totally correct, but in comparison to some others I'm begining to see that I'm wrong. My attitudes towards myself are unhealthy and incorrect, it doesn't matter if I hold these attitudes to myself and don't really publically announce them in company, the fact that I do believe these things are very bad. Especially after reading those comments by Nihilist and seeing other people's reactions to it all. I need to do something about it, my attitude is something I can change. It might not be easy but if I don't start heading towards that destination I'll never reach it. It's like anything, uni-work, getting fit. First time you attempt it feels pointless and that all your efforts are in vain. I remember feeling like this when I first started running, i felt shattered after just two minutes of running, I felt like 'whats the point I can't run', but then I ran for another minute, then another whole five minutes, then a week later I ran 10 minutes straight and then months later I was running for 40 minutes straight. I will say in defence of my attitude though, it was formed by many negative aspects in my life, aspects beyond my control, but now I'm an adult now I need to understand those things happened and yes it was shit, but now I need move on and get things sorted. I probably need some kind of cognative behavioural therapy but I'll seek medical advice on that.