You know what? Thought finding a site with like minded people, people who've had it worse than me but still manage to go on, would help me put things into perspective. How stupid (as usual) can I be? Guess it has, to a certain degree. I'm gonna stop whingeing & threatening & just get on with it. Got work this afternoon til tomorro afternoon, perfect! My residents go to bed @ 10: 30, other staff go home & I'm on my own until tomorrow morning then. I'm fed up of screwing things up, this time I won't! Know if I take meds all @ once I throw up, so already started taking few @ time. By tonight, I'll have enough in my system to just fall asleep & never wake up! Got blades to make doubly sure! No-one to find me, no-one to give me shit about attempting it, Just pure, total nothingness!