Let me skip the long story of sadness and depression in the past and tell you were Im at today, I'm a 22 year old fat never had a girlfriend, never had a date/kiss, no job, no talents, no success, no smarts, no future. For the last 4 years after graduating from high school I've been living with my parents/ sleeping on friends couches and living in a dark corner were the world dosent look, I'm sick of going to doctors getting worthless pills and listen to therapists telling me things are gonna get better and blah blah blah...BS. I've been jailed gone to rehab seen doctors so on and so forth. I'm so pathetic I literally live day to day everyday waiting to see what happens next on this tv series or who wins the sport finals or w/e, 2 things are keeping me here 1, I'm beyond scared, in my religion you commit suicide you go to hell. I'm already crazy and paranoid and think demons follow me and I have a curse or something hell I fear more then anything someone on this earth can do to me. 2 my family there the best and I love them so much, I'm so close with all of them and I don't want to hurt them. My mom and dad continue to spend money on there worthless son who contributes nothing towards bills or anything at all. I go to all the family dinners and out to the movies and sports games with them all free to cost cause they want me there. Anyway I'm giving this one more shot this summer I'm checking myself into a mental hospital and trying to get this worked out, if this dosent work I'm not just gonna keep going with this worthless existence of human life.