Good Day Hello everyone, I hope you don't mind me jumping right into what I have on my mind. Sorry if this seems pointless and doesn't really fit with this forum(I don't think I'm in a crisis). Finally after all these years of thinking, I've finally realized, I'm confused. Not confused about my sexual orientation or if I should die or not(I think I've gotten past that point, my point for life is to help people), but confused as to who I am. I've been depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but I somehow always manage to think through them and continue on with life. The feeling still comes back though, there are still times where I wish I was never born or I wished I had a gun. I stink at everything I try to do. I can never have a good conversation with anyone. I've gained weight instead of loosing it. I'm not getting the grades I could be getting(currently a junior in High School). I don't have talents. Everything I touch either becomes broken, disassembled, lost, forgotten, or worn out much faster then it should. I stink at all three languages that I remember, two that I should know. It's not that I don't have friends, it's just that I feel like a burden to them and I have nothing to contribute. They are nice and such but I can never get into a good conversation and be more accepted. I try to help but my crappy English speaking only seems to make things worse. I try to be outgoing but I never know what to say. Not many people make fun of may anymore though. Well, not that I know of. Many places say that in order for me to be more social, just be "yourself". What is this "yourself"? Where is it? How could I find one? I also have sudden urges to lash out, to break people's necks, to slice them or stab them with what every I have in my hand. This is to people I love. I don't know what's wrong with me. Many things in my room have stab marks, holes, burns, cuts and so on. I have a feeling that if someone does manage to push me off the edge someone will die. I don't know how to release this bottled up anger so that people don't get hurt and I don't end up destroying myself. I was wondering, is there any way you can help with finding this elusive "yourself"? Thanks to anyone who actually read all that.(sorry that it was so long) I also apologize if this belongs somewhere else.