my name is kinna. preferrably. i have been diagnosed as bipolar I. i am actually schizoaffective and ocd. i am not currently suicidal but have to deal with the thought of wanting to end my life every now and then because of the struggle with my illness. right now i am not on any medication because everything that i take has side effects that keep me from functioning on a daily basis doing normal tasks. the last two medications caused irregular heartbeat.chest pain.aggression and stomach problems. i am visiting a doctor in a few days that i have been to several times and am going to discuss these things about getting re diagnosed. he wants me to go back to a place where they have told me that they have tried all the medicines they have available and where a case worker told me that maybe i should try and go without medication/why do i want to come back here, blah blah. other things i care not to post at the moment. i know this whole fiasco shit is going to start up again as i start another semester of classes. things i cannot explain that are hopeless.