Good Mate

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by xXWhateverItTakesXx, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    So, tomorrow..It will be 3 years since a very good mate of mine killed himself. 3 years, and yet I still blame myself for it. He is always on my mind and I can't help that. I as the last person to speak to him and now he's dead. I don't know if I can ever get over it. I should of helped him more. It's kinda complicated anyway.

    If you can read this or hear my thoughts "If" (His nickname) I am sorry.

    Hope you have been able to RIP x :(
  2. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. Try not to blame yourself easier said than done. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to he is at peace now no more suffering. Don't beat yourself up about not helping him more sometimes people are that desperate and however much help is offered they can't or won't take it. Its not your fault :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry for your loss :hug: You shouldn't blame yourself.
  4. Arcturus

    Arcturus Active Member

    First, let me say I'm very sorry for your loss.

    I also know what it feels like to blame yourself for a friend's actions.

    In 8th grade, I was the last person to speak to a girl who I loved very much. I was cruel to her, and she killed herself (actually, I expressly told her TO kill herself; I still feel terrible about this).

    4 days ago, I was the last person to speak to my best friend before she attempted suicide, and ended up with brain damage. I told her I would call her back later that night, but forgot.

    I feel extremely guilty about both of these (especially the first), regardless of what I tell myself about other people having to make their own choices, etc. I'm not going to tell you that it's useless to blame yourself for something your friend does, because hearing that never helped me.

    Instead, I just wanted to express my sympathies, having gone through something like this myself. And know that I would always be up for a talk about feelings of guilt, if you should ever feel the need.

    R.I.P. [your friend's name]