Good news Always Comes with bad news

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GS9, Oct 1, 2009.

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  1. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    Alrighty everyone i lived pasted my 19th birth day

    I relized that all the shit i lived threw why not see how far my mind and body can take
    I'm going back to Ohio for the economy,
    But im gonna be living in my car
    And I was welcome'd to come stay at my mom and sister's apartment but i'd rather burn in hell

    I wonder how much pain can someone live threw, struggle all that till there mind snaps?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2009
  2. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    Come on buddy, take the hospitality, and stay with the family. Dont want to be living in a car. Sanitation and creature comforts are needed, will help for a healthy mind.

    Keep your plans though, will help drive you to some success on the way. Keep at it.

    People are different with pain thresholds , best thing to do is never test the limits, it wont end well.

    Whats bringing you down mate?
     
  3. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    Why not stay with your relatives? What's your story with them?

    Glad you're trying to solve your life tough, changing of scenario is always a good thing when one's feeling down.
     
  4. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    Alright my sister and her boy friend are in that apartment too
    He attacked me out of the blue and i swore that I would kill him if he ever tried it again

    Plus the pain that im living with feels like my heart was ripped out

    I have no one to stay with, my meaning of life is to live long enough to see myself go insane

    There is nothing to look foward to in my life
    Im nothing more than a failed life

    I have nothing left
    My car I dont even own..

    my dead end job..

    Theres nothing more i can do

    I see my life not making it for long
     
  5. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    If I may make a suggestion, you should really try to at least talk about you moving in to your family's apartment. If the only thing keeping you back is your sister's bf, you can try to talk with her and see if she can keep him under control.

    You seem to be in a big bind right now, you need a place to put yourself togheter and start over, and that ain't your car. You should really consider your family's offer.
     
  6. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    When i was 13yrs old
    I was happy,
    I didnt smoke, Drink, do drugs, did good in school

    But things changed
    I relised I was never good enough

    I Never stole, I had morals

    My soul died and My body (whats left of it)
    Is waiting to follow

    Im in alot of pain and have been broken for a long time
    They say with time heals all wounds

    My whole life i tried to please everyone never caring about myself

    I left my dream of being a soldier to make my mom and family members not to worry about me

    I know im broken but i know im still 'fixable'
    I just need to find that happiness that i had when i was young

    I need to find peace
    But there is no longer any peace in my life

    No one will truely understand the pain and regret i live with
    I only wished that i would have died at a young age,
    When i was happy then die alone and in soo much pain
     
  7. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    I dont want to see my family,
    The way I am now is that i dont want anyone to see me

    My family knows only a little about how i feel

    But even if i was to go back on zoloft
    I would only live in a cloud of happiness

    But I guess that would be batter then no happiness at all
    but i cant afford zoloft
    I cant afford anything

    I Failed at life
    And I failed myself
     
  8. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    I want to get a gun and shoot myself but before i shoot myself

    I want the nearest person to tell me that they love me and that I made them proud
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Chad,

    You haven't failed. You're still here that proves it.
    I think you should move into your families apartment, wouldnt it make your life much easier? please think about it.
     
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