I have some good news. I saw my therapist today and we made a new verbal contract. I am going to apply for a part time job to start. I am going to apply with ACT mental health facility. I feel comfortable there because I have been a client there like 7 times. You can apply if you have been out of the hospital for more than 6 months. I am scared of the unknown, she assured me that I have nothing to worry about. I know she is right because I already know what I will have to do. I haven't mentioned it to my family yet. I don't know if I will get the job. Once I find out then I will let them know. I will keep posting because even though I am trying this I still have my suicidal thoughts everyday. My meds and my coping skills have been keeping it at bay. If I get the job I need to figure out a way to ask my brother in law if he will loan me the money to buy a harley davidson. I already owe them $5000 from before I got my disability. It's not like they can't afford it. He told me the last time I was over there that he is retiring at the end of the year. He found out he is worth $1,250,000. He has bought stock in his company with every check since he was 17. Any how Sorry I drifted off the subject!! Thank You to the friends I have made. I will let you know what happens. I have to wait untill next week to go and apply.