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Goodbye everyone.... my last day!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ramteflon, Apr 24, 2012.

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  1. ramteflon

    ramteflon New Member

    Today's the day I have circled to terminate my life.

    My life just keeps getting worse and worse and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

    I am being sued by credit card company for thousands of dollars. I have no money as my bank account is completely overdrawn and the bank keeps slapping me with overdraft/overdrawn fees every other day.

    They are canceling my auto insurance because I can't even make a small monthly payment. The court will most likely take my car to pay off the credit card debt even though it's not worth more than $2000.

    I have no job cause I suffer from agoraphobia and other social phobias which becomes debilitating whenever I am in public and around people. I still managed to have couple of jobs years ago but it was miserable and unbearable every single minute of every single day. I can't handle people making fun of the way I look and even walk due to my deformed legs.

    So for the past few years I basically stay home all day and do nothing. I would sometimes help parents with mowing their lawn, pruning trees, repairs arond the house, etc. In exchange they gave me a small allowance, enough to pay the bills. But they can no longer afford it since my mom fell gravely ill and they have to deal with huge medical bills.

    My family has pressured me to get a job for the past few years but like I said, I just can't get over my phobias and anxiety. I feel like killing myself every single minute I am outdoors.

    I have no friends, and no girlfriends as I am a virgin in my 30s. Whenever a girl shows interest in me, I would always run the other way. When I was in 6th grade, a girl wrote me a love letter and I completely ignored her. I did the same in high school and college. This was probably due to being molested as a child by a teacher and a relative which causes my intimacy problems. I like girls but I can't imagine myself every being married and having children.

    So it isn't just financial straits that is causing me to take my own life. I attempted suicide when I was 14 by swallowing 30 pills but somehow I survived with no long term affects. So I'll be taking 100 pills this time to make sure it doesn't fail.

    Goodbye everyone, see you in another life.

  2. paperboy48

    paperboy48 New Member

    Are you still here?
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I would not worry over credit card debt. They can threaten to sue you, but 99% chance that they actually don't. They will end up selling off the debt to a debt collection agency who will harass you for a while before they sell it off to another, and then another, etc. Eventually it will be forgotten. It will hang on your credit report for a long time, but will drop off that as well eventually. I'm not saying that debt should be ignored, but if you are unable to pay the old saying says, "You can't get blood out of a turnip." They can't and won't take your car. Driving without car insurance, however, can get you into trouble so if you can't afford insurance then park the car and don't drive it. When registration runs out on it (yearly) you will have to prove you are insured or you won't get your tags anyways. As for no bank account, you will have to use a check cashing place from hereon until you get your financial issues resolved. Many people do, that is why there are so many of those places around.

    Remember that debt collectors will use intimidation as a tool to attempt to collect a debt. Their strategy is usually to scare you into paying them. The cost of suing you when you have nothing anyways is more costly than writing your debt off... believe me.

    There are jobs that are suited to people who have social phobias. One of my sons works at a pet hotel, not because of social phobias... but the application applies. He works overnights and there is nobody else there except he and as many as 400 dogs/cats (over a busy holiday, for instance). It is a regular job that pays well and he didn't have any specialized training or experience to land it. It serves his needs for the moment. He is all alone all night, just the animals, and is essentially there to just make sure the pets being boarded are okay. When he complains about having to work, I remind him how easy he has it. :)

    My point is, there are jobs out there that might be suited to you and your needs. There are solutions for most things, though often they take some investigating and effort to pursue. Have you considered joining any clubs or groups where you can meet people with similar interests? There exists everything from church singles groups to comic book stores that have game club competitions, and etc. There are also groups in the mental health and wellness related field such as NAMI that can assist you in making friends and networking. There you might meet people who feel exactly the same way you do.

    Ending your life seems a simple solution, but it is not a solution at all. Let's hope that you see that and move forward with some solutions that years from now you will look back upon and be glad you pursued.
  4. ramteflon

    ramteflon New Member

    They didn't threaten to sue.... they actually sued as in filing a lawsuit in court and serving me.
  5. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Those credit card people are bastards, plain and simpleā€¦ but as another poster said, I think the threat of what they can do is probably worse than what they are actually capable of doing. I wish I could help you OP but all I can do is offer supportā€¦ whatever you decide, I really hope you can find some kind of peace eventually.
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    So then ignore it. There is no debtor's prison. They cannot take your car. They possibly could have the court garnish wages, but as you've said you are not employed I don't think that would matter. It is highly unusual that they would actually sue someone unless they felt there was something you were hiding financially. The cost of a lawsuit where there is no money to be gained seems futile at best.
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