Goodbye Everyone this is the last time I'm sure this time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Apr 22, 2012.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Goodbye everyone I hope you can all have a positive life,I'm out of here asap if I can help it this time I really doubt I'll make it to my 37th birthday on April 30th if I can help it.No I don't want to be saved I want to die that's the thing,I don't want to live to just suffer a pointless existence I wish I was never born anyway I don't see any point in living anyway.To me suffer suffer suffer and what pay bills laugh every now and then and the same old story.So for me I know 100% death is the best solution I don't care what anyone says,at the end of the day you can't go on living for others you have to go on living for yourself also.For me sorry I'm the one who suffers my pain everyday not others that's how I see it,I don't want people keeping me alive just to keep being in pain.If someone is in real pain let them go I say I'm all over it now there's no turning back for me.I hope you all can get some real peace asap in your lives thanks for everything It's really more likely than ever I won't be back and that I'll be gone if I can help it as soon as I can goodbye friends I wish you all the best peace and comfort in all your lives...
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I really hope you change your mind, and that you come back. Here if you want to talk.
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Is there something, anything in your life at all, that if you could change it, by some magic miracle, would make you happy? If so, what is it? I'd like to know! Because I think that there does stand a chance for your happiness to await you at a future date, not so far off as may seem now.... You've got to dream it, before you do it! And I'd just like you to--even if only through visualization or imagination--picture what that will be. Respectfully, MisterBGone.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I hope you find a reason to change your mind ace...*hug*
    I understand that feeling of wanting to die and the pain that sends us there...

    the trouble with suicide is we would transfer our pain to our loved ones left behind..

    ''stuck between a rock and a hard place''..

    I lost my son to suicide and I now hold his pain and my own
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    hope you reconsider ace youve been alot of help here
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Ace - we haven't talked in a while. I know it's so hard, trying to get through each day. I know this. My partner died in March, I always told myself I'd stick around until she passed. That immediate pain was like nothing I've ever experienced. Im here, a few weeks later, and while I am fully aware there's a road ahead with many bumps, I'm willing to try. Life is a precious thing, made even more so witnessing my partners life dissipate.

    Please, reconsider. We are here to help, we're all in this together.
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much everyone the true reality is all my conditions they're never going to go away and going to be stuck with me forever so really and that along with all the pain from the past make it all so unbearable for me to keep on going.The thing is it's too much for me to keep on fighting anymore I know I have lost the will to keep this up anymore,thank you so much everyone for all your great help wish I could be of more help to others.I know the pain is all too much for me and if anyone was in my shoes I'm pretty sure they would do the same thing as I would be also.
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    do you want to talk about the 'conditions' and your pain ace?
    do you know any others with similar conditions that you can talk to and who will understand and support you?
    sometimes it can help *hug*
  9. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks very much for your concern I've been struggliong for years with Major Depression,Bi Polar disorder,Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,Body Dysmorphic Disorder and severe anxiety really and they're all pretty bad.I've been trying very hard and pretty much had every treatment under the sun,I've spoken with people about most of the conditions but really the BDD is one where you probably don't find as many people coming out with it really.I've been on just about every medication out there and another change really won't be worth it as I don't think what I'm on now isn't so bad really.

    It's just the severity of all the conditions that really cripple my life really and make it so unbearable to keep going really.
  10. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    I think you are a great person on this forum and I would really care if something was to happend to you. I know that it must be tough with all the stuff you've lived with but please reconsider what you are about to do because you are a fighter. I hope everything goes good for you
  11. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Ace, a lot of people struggle with conditions that they didn't ask for. I only say that to help you feel less alone. I wish I could make your pain go away.
  12. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    honey... please don't go. i'm sorry for being selfish asking you to stay... but my dear, so many people here care about you :console:
    please... be kind to yourself. be understanding. you didn't choose to be this way. it's an illness.
    you can change your mind at any instance.
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    How are you doing ace?
    I hope you're still around and fighting ...

    I read about your problems and see why you are feeling overwhelmed
    I have all those problems too but not bi polar....I have other mental and health issues though and I understand how hard it is to keep going

    You are cared about and there are many who have replied to your posts who want you to fight on
    I hope you find the strength and reason to do that :hug:
  14. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much to all of you it really means so much I'm trying my best it's just so hard to keep going really,yesterday I was busy trying to help my great aunty go to hospital and everything she's ok I'm just so tired mentally/emotionally and physically and hate being such a burden to people.It gets very hard I feel well to me I'm such a loser at well 37 years of age...
  15. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Hey ace,
    I'm so sorry. I feel your pain and exhaustion.
    I don't want to make it to my 33rd birthday in June.
    I don't think you are a loser not a burden either. I see myself as a loser too.
    I also see myself as a burden.
  16. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    how can you call yourself a burden when you are taking care of your aunt? :hug: you re worthier than you think.
    honey, if this helps at all regarding the self-worth issue, i'd like you to extend your generosity. be helpful. you can even feed a hungry stray dog.
    be of service to everyone around you. you never know sometimes just a small gesture of kindness can change someone's whole world.

    but first of all, you gotta be gentle with yourself. as i said, you didn't choose to be like this. it's not your fault. you are worthy and deserve to be loved. look at yourself through the eyes of kindness and understanding. :hug:
  17. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thank you both for your nice kind words I'm so sorry Autumn how you're feeling also I wish I could help you so much more.I turned 37 yesterday and once again as hard as i'm trying I wish I didn't make it sorry.I don't know what else to do it just feels like a pointless existence really to be honest,I don't know I'm just so tired of everything really I really am.
  18. But you're here, so I'm hoping that means at least a little part of you wants to stick around. So please do. It's 4:30 in the morning for me right now, so I'm not very eloquent. But please keep on keeping on. I will if you will. Because at our core, we are living organisms, and that's what living organisms do: live. Even when the going gets unbelievably pointless and sucky. Even when there seems to be no purpose, as organisms, we always have our ultimate, main purpose: stay alive as long as possible. I can't really come up with anything more intelligent to say right now, but hang in there. If things have hit rock bottom, then they can only get better.
  19. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey ace..sounds like you're contributing to at least your aunties life and no doubt countless other loved ones more than you realize.
    sounds to me like you're worthwhile and maybe less of a burden than you believe..

    I wonder if you've considered volunteer work where you will feel useful and appreciated..
    I'm thinking about it myself..just haven't found what suits me yet..
    I hope you stick around :arms:
  20. FamilyGuyFan1986

    FamilyGuyFan1986 Active Member

    Remember you can always find a way out of life's problems but u cant find a way out of death.
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