Hi guys I am new here, my first post. My son is in hospital, been in hospital for a while now with the Swine flu that is going around. He is 1 1/2years old now. He is such a beautiful boy and I love him so much. The doctors have pretty much tried to prepare me for the worst, he's on life support in ICU. I've dealt with .. well I dunno if you can say "dealt". I've gone through depression for so many years now, ever since I was 12. It got better for a while, when I had many people around me, when I knew people cared. But now, it seems no one cares anymore. I know I have my Mum, and my son.. (who may not make it) but that's all I have. I guess I have been looking for someone to "Care", someone to talk to in a few weeks now and I haven't found anyone. Tonight is a really lonely night for me, I have had 2 panic attacks in the last 4 hours and I have the worst headache. I can't seem to sleep though. It is so lonely in this house all by myself and it seems to get like this every Tuesday. Anyway, I wrote my letter, my goodbye letter. I have been reading it over and over ever since I wrote it. I know what I am going to do, and how to do it, but I guess I just wanted to confirm the fact that there is absolutely no one out there that cares anymore. Of course, what am I expecting by posting on here? You all don't know me, so I don't see how you all possibly should or would care.. I am just done now I think, I am lost. I am lonely. I am miserable. All I have wanted to do for the past week is talk to someone, but no one has the time. It's ok though, how many people live in this world? So many people are born and die every day, I guess I am just another. I don't know why I am posting here, I guess just to .. "Vent" if you would like to call it that. Sorry.