Goodbye....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by impulse617, Sep 4, 2010.

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  1. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    I just came to say goodbye....I just can't take the pain anymore. I'm sorry, this is just something I have to do. The pain is just to much and I can't handle it. I have nothing meaningful left in my life, everyone I care about always goes away in the end. Meaningful relationships always just turn to shit. Its not like anyones gonna miss me when I'm gone, so what's the point? If nobody else cares then why should I? What's the point of living when you could die right now and it wouldn't make a difference to anyone? I highly doubt anyones even gonna notice I'm gone, much less care....

    I don't wanna die, I wanna live a happy life but....I guess its just not meant to be, I'm in more pain then I can even describe and I know its only gonna get worse in the coming days. I should probably do it before then to save myself from the disappoint but I guess I'm just to much of an idiot lol....I just can't be happy here, I don't belong here and its time to go, but I wish all of you the best of luck and hope that you can get through whatever problems you're dealing with
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you don't go through with it. Can you talk about what's wrong, what's brought you to this point?
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I hope you change your mind too....
    are you having any help with a doctor, meds, therapy?
     
  4. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    Today is another step closer to the end. These last couple of days especially have been hell and it shows no signs of getting better anytime soon. Tomorrow is probably gonna be the worst day of my life...I guess the smart thing to do would be to end it before then hehe to bad I'm not that smart.

    Shouldn't be much longer now....kind of relieved that its almost over, I've had some good times in my life and I really cherish them but that's all in the past. This is just something I have to do....
     
  5. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i understand what you mean. its tough to see a future these days. do you have anyone?
     
  6. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    You have had some good times in your past and you will again. Hang on, hun.:hugtackles:
     
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    You are meant to live a happy healthy and meaningful life. We all are. The thing that stands in our way is the arrogance into believing we could just make it happen when we want and how we want. The fact of the matter is that we are not as in control as we like to think nor are we as out of control as we fear. We have control in this life to do right in all situations. We have control on who we allow to direct our paths. If you life isn't going that great under your control do some soul searching and find a spiritual path that offers security, and direction. I did and I am happy, blessings..
     
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    If you don't mind me asking, what do you have to get through tomorrow?
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You state that you don't want to die. That in itself is a reason to live. What is going on in your life that is making things so difficult for you right now?
     
  10. dizzylife

    dizzylife New Member

    impulse, I hope you are ok. I am in a similar boat. I am filled with such deep sorrow and sadness. Me at least I can trace it to a few reasons-although it has been bubbling under the surface for so long.

    perhaps you are the same. Life does seem meaningless-good/bard, hard working/lazy-nothing makes sense. in today's world the Snookis and the Paris Hiltons are the millionares and the hard working 50 yr old college graduate who did everything right is broke, destitute . It is a strange world out there. I think when our belief is broken-it does not make sense anymore.

    I am in the struggle too . I am just looking for somehting to beleive in again- a tough choice when you reliaze everything is temporary and passes. I myself have thought of ending it quite a few times-more from deep sadness and hopelessness. I don't have anyone depend on me either-my one dependent just passed away a few months ago. But I hold on-who knows what is around the corner. perhaps something may change for you too-hold on or perhaps let go and doors will open. Good luck.
     
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