goodbye

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by the_only_one, Jan 22, 2012.

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  1. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    im ening at all tonight.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm really sorry to hear that you want to kill yourself. Why do you feel that you want to end it all?
     
  3. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    the feeling hasnt gone away for years, and im only 16 so ive felt like this most all my life, but the past few weeks its been worse, wayyy worse. and i cant take meds because our family is broke, which just adds a extra thing to worry about, i just want to be dead. i want some one to walk in on me laying in a pool of blood or something.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I know how you feel, I've felt this way for years too. It's hard to deal with, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to the feelings. You are only 16 so there are a lot of good years left for you, but you won't be able to find out what will happen in the future if you take your life now. It is your choice but I hope that you won't hurt yourself.
     
  5. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    maybe this is my future what if my "prohpecy" was to die right here right now, ive tried everything and nothing helps. nothing that used to make me happy does anymore, im a joke. im worthless. i suck at school, i have lost my friends, parents are ashamed of me, i work a shitty job and i just cant do this anymore
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You aren't a joke or worthless, no one is. If you suck at school there is always room to improve. I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your friends, I don't really have any friends but you can always make new ones. I'm sure your parents aren't ashamed of you, what makes you feel that they are? If you don't like your job, you can always get a new one that you like better. There are always things that can be improved.
     
  7. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    i try to improve, but my parents make me take all the college level courses so even if i finally catch up, i fall behind again. ive tried to make new friends for a long while, people just dont like me, i dont know why, i dont do anything weird (around them) but they just go away, my parents are ashamed because i am nowhere near as smart as my sister. and its the only job i can get, working 40 hours a week ontop of school to help support myself.
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    That sucks that they seem to put too much pressure on you. Have you told them it's too much for you to handle? Maybe you could try talking to them so they know how you feel about it. People don't really like me either, but it's ok because I know I have support here, and as long as you have a few close friends that's all that matters. If people don't like you then you don't need them in your life anyway. It's ok if you aren't as smart as your sister, I'm sure you have other talents. Well maybe you can stick with the job for now until you find something better. I guess it's better than not having a job at all.
     
  9. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    trust me, i have told them through many hated arguments. i have one close friend problem though. she lives in flordia, i live in KS, i have no phone... my only "talent" is music, and im not even good at that
     
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It's hard when your parents aren't there to support you, but that doesn't mean you should give up. At least you do have a close friend, even though she is far away. Do you get to talk to her often? How do you know you aren't good at music? are you a singer or do you play instruments?
     
  11. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    i can sing well, and i can play many instruments, but not well. and i talk to her once every week or two..through e-mail
     
  12. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hey you can always learn to get better at them. There's always room for improvement, so don't give up. That's good that you can sing well, you should be proud of that talent. By the way, what instruments do you play? That's good that you keep in touch with your friend. Have you made any plans to see each other?
     
  13. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    Christy is right on a variety of angles here. I'm sorry that the pain isn't getting better, and I'm sorry to hear that your family doesn't have the money to afford any medicine for you. I know what you mean when parent's aren't supporting you...

    Trevor,
     
  14. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    i would see her...but its a $650 plane ticket.... and trombone baritone tuba guitar and bass
     
  15. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Is there any way she could come to see you? It's a big price but I think you could save up for it eventually, or find another way to meet up. That's cool, I was going to learn flute when I was in school, but then I moved away. I envy anyone who can play an instrument, it seems challenging but it's something I want to learn. Is it something you do for school, or do you want to be in a band?
     
  16. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    both, but i got kicked out of my band for god knows why..
     
  17. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member

    hi Andrew

    I don't know what to say right now, bt I want you to know I understand where you are coming from and althought im SUI myself, I dont want you to die. I don't know you but I do care.......I failed once, I was where you are now, similar issues, very similar...and I tried... even though I was very very very serious about it, when they told me i'd messed up my organs, i was sorry. Nowi'm going slowly and wish I never attempted in the first place... now I really do want to go. Sorry for the depressing post , I just wanted to share this with you ... this is very serious and I know you are in deep deep pain and it all seems dark. pplease keep safe friend. i'm here to talk if you need to pm.

    wishing you the best

    Tia
     
  18. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    thank you tia, i have tried many times, but always seem to fail
     
  19. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Oh that sucks that you got kicked out of your band, but you can always start your own band and find people to play in it. I thought about learning guitar and starting my own band. I do some singing too. What kind of band was it? like what kind of music?
     
  20. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Andrew, I think if you failed that means you are meant to be here. That's just another chance to make things right and make your life better.
     
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