I'm thinking about suicide all the time. I cut myself alot and smoke weed to numb the pain. But it doesn't work. I still feel shit all the time and cry most days, for hours at a time. When going to the toilet I wonder what would happen if I just threw myself down the stairs. Walking down the street I hope that I'll get hit by cars so it will all be over. A few weeks ago I overdosed on paracetamol and some other stuff. I ended up in hospital for a few days. I'm supposed to see a counsellor tomorrow but I am afraid of going. I saw one before and she made me feel a million times worse. I went out to a club with my friends on Saturday and foolishly decided to drink alcohol (stupid idea since I fucked up my liver) and now one of my best friends in the whole world, one of the only people in the world who I could talk to won't talk to me. I'm losing everyone I care about. There is nothing I can do to make it better and I have nothing to live for.